After celebrating a semi-Cajun, tender Tennessean Christmas complete with a nice dinner,
my uncle took my Louisiana cousin and me about 40 minutes away to the Nashville airport around 4:30pm (after a tearful goodbye).
I couldn't check my luggage all the way to Congo (which is what my original plan was), but I made it through security
and sat and waited to board my plane (with plenty of time). After being in the air 20 minutes, we had to turn around
back to Nashville. Apparently, the pilot forgot to inform us the de-icer was overheating, and we all deboarded
glad that we'd rather be on a safe plane, but mad that we had to rebook or stay in Nashville for the night. I had to borrow
some lady's phone to make some fast decisions. United stinks, because of my bad experience in May (of never getting
to Boston), and now this, I have decided I don't ever want to use United again. My uncle kindly found me a flight out that night
on good ol' Southwest, who was way more helpful than United (who closed and I still have yet to get on a phone and demand a refund and complain).
That plane was delayed, but I got on at 10:20 and arrived in Baltimore (having to cancel my plans in Dulles, and very
grateful to a kind family friend) around 1am. After waiting a while for the luggage carausel, we finally discovered
one of my trunks in Oversized, popped, cracked, busted OPEN, with my undies hanging out and the guys apologizing saying they promise
they tried loading it all back in from the cargo area (come to find out I did find a stray bottle of lotion from some other lady's luggage!).
Being so tired and knowing this family friend would be waiting for me, I just gave up trying to fight for a claim about it, so I finally found
my ride, and they kindly took me all over Annapolis looking for an open WalMart to replace my trunk. We were all so tired and nothing was open (Walgreens wouldn't
be selling storage like that until after Christmas), so we came home. They had to locate one of their old storage bins in their attic!
I feel eternally grateful to this kind family. I got to sleep a little but had to be up again for the trip to Dulles (to meet my sister).
I actually rode past the Washington monument and the lit Capitol dome!! (I've never been to DC and having always wanted to go I was super excited she pointed it out to me)!
After a long line lugging my trunks through to the Ethiopian airlines counter, the man was real rough with me warning me I'd had to pay for my oversized CarryOn.
I promise you this thing has been through lots of plane trips, carryon, so I KNEW and KNOWS it fits. So I decided to wait and see if I could take it with me, and then was more than relieved,
so excited to see my sister at the gate! We waited in line to board and then had a wonderful flight all the way to Rome, only to refuel tho, not to get to deboard to see any of Rome.
They fed us 3 fabulous airplane meals (note the sarcasm). Oh, right, and my suitcase didn't fit the not-deep-enough compartments (the guy was right, so I let them take it to Addis, they wouldn't check it all the way to
Congo for me, so I told them I'd try and pick it up in Addis). I tried to sleep on the plane but my neck doesn't do well sitting while I'm sleeping, so I dozed, watched movies, read the rest of Jeremiah
(the book of the Bible I've been plugging through), and read some of Derek Prince's book on rejection. So I got to watch "No Reservations" (which I highly recommend) and "Gracie" (if you like soccer
I guess you'll like it okay but if you're an actor who watches movies for acting, don't watch it). I listened to music (altho my ipod nor my MP3/radio didn't work) on the plane and enjoyed talking to a nice Malawi guy and his sis-in-law.
For some reason my sister didn't sit in her spot (there was a couple already taking it up) so we couldn't sit together b/c she enjoyed her leg room up front the flight attendant gave her. When I couldn't sleep, it was also
because there was a group of choir boys going to Rwanda, and they were livin it up enjoyin too much caffeine and sugar. Their harmony was okay, but they were amusing.
In Ethiopia we tried locating my bag but were almost late boarding our plane to Congo, so we had to give up, telling the nice lady my bag wasn't there and we needed it. She said she found it (once we boarded it) and not to worry.
From Ethiopia to Congo I tried sleeping but really couldn't - it's that point of exhaustion that you're even too tired to sleep (which is hard to understand unless you've been there).
Once we arrived in Congo we waited and waited for our luggage, but decided to give up on the lost bag. I almost fell asleep in the car, even though I was excited to experience ALL of Congo, and cried when I saw my mama coming out of her house, having driven through
The American School of Kinshasa (TASOK). We started sat down with water and oranges to refuel and enjoy the Christmas tree with family.
Then a nearby Chinese American missionary friend showed up so us girls went for a cool dip in the school pool. After swimming we came home to what we were all really waiting for, good ol home cooked food, Mama's fresh salsa, chicken, rice, veggies - YUM!
After dinner we watched Evangeline's Gordon College chapel video (of her singing on worship team), but I started to get sleepy, so I started unpacking (the luggage I did bring), then went off to bed.
I'll be sharing baby sister Sarah's room, and we woke to both share a hilarious story of both of us talking in our sleep (I'm not used to being told that I talk in my sleep but that is funny!).
This morning we had homemade wheat Cinnamon rolls and oatmeal! Then we got to experience the Int'l. Protestant Church of Kinshasa (IPCK). Driving all around Kinshasa is so interesting - to see and learn the bad roads, scary old cars driving horribly fast and in your way, but also observing the different economic classes, and people-watching different levels....!
The choir did 2 excellent Handel's Messiah selections, and we sang Christmas hymns, and a missionary man spoke, sharing the Paul Harvey Christmas story (the birds teaching this guy the Gospel!). When church was over, we had a wonderful lunch at a sweet missionary couples' home, and then went to a Christmas party at a family's house - they work for the Embassy!
Enjoying a long rollicking game of RHYTHM (which my mom ROCKS at btw)!, we are home now listening to Christmas music and playing with kittens.
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris
Friday, December 28, 2007
My Xmas E-card
Since I can't send Christmas cards (and didn't get them out this year) from Congo, I wanted you to see my Xmas Email:
Dear Family and Friends,
I wanted you to see this article Reliv will feature in an upcoming issue. I am not bragging, I am not thinking Reliv is the end all, but just sharing that I am more than grateful for what God has brought to me through the gift of my sister Elisabeth and the gift of Reliv. During a rough 2007, God brought the gift of a changed life - not only my physical needs being met, but He has been there every step of the way, more than faithful to "supply all my needs" through the riches of His amazing Grace!
I hope you have a blessed Christmas and that you can truly "taste and see the Lord is good" in 2008 and always,
Christiana
"Christiana Kergosien of Nashville, TN has undergone a remarkable turnaround with Reliv's Slimplicity. 'Three years ago, I was introduced to Reliv by my sister, a Master Affiliate,' says Christiana. 'I saw the difference in her, and in my first month on the product my chronic allergy cough disappeared, at the height of the fall allergy season!
'After 7 mos. on the product, I saw improvements in all sorts of female problems- hormonal imbalance, cysts, and so on. I was under a lot of stress at the time and began to develop an emotionally-related eating disorder - I had had weight issues since college. Since I started Simplicity in February, I lost the first 5 lbs in the first 3 weeks and over 8 mos., I lost 42 lbs, 12 in., and I'm down from a size 16 to a size 6! It was just amazing!
'I feel like a 100% different person!,' says Christiana. 'My self-confidence is high and my anxiety and depression have gone. I feel younger, healthier, and more vibrant than I ever have. I'm running faster and longer - two to three miles every day- not bad for someone who was an emotional couch potato - and my food cravings have disappeared.
'I'm off to Africa for 6 mos. for missions work for my church, and I have no concerns about West Nile, malaria, or other potential health issues there because I am in such vibrant health, thanks to Slimplicity and Reliv. I'm a different person and I love it!'"
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris
Dear Family and Friends,
I wanted you to see this article Reliv will feature in an upcoming issue. I am not bragging, I am not thinking Reliv is the end all, but just sharing that I am more than grateful for what God has brought to me through the gift of my sister Elisabeth and the gift of Reliv. During a rough 2007, God brought the gift of a changed life - not only my physical needs being met, but He has been there every step of the way, more than faithful to "supply all my needs" through the riches of His amazing Grace!
I hope you have a blessed Christmas and that you can truly "taste and see the Lord is good" in 2008 and always,
Christiana
"Christiana Kergosien of Nashville, TN has undergone a remarkable turnaround with Reliv's Slimplicity. 'Three years ago, I was introduced to Reliv by my sister, a Master Affiliate,' says Christiana. 'I saw the difference in her, and in my first month on the product my chronic allergy cough disappeared, at the height of the fall allergy season!
'After 7 mos. on the product, I saw improvements in all sorts of female problems- hormonal imbalance, cysts, and so on. I was under a lot of stress at the time and began to develop an emotionally-related eating disorder - I had had weight issues since college. Since I started Simplicity in February, I lost the first 5 lbs in the first 3 weeks and over 8 mos., I lost 42 lbs, 12 in., and I'm down from a size 16 to a size 6! It was just amazing!
'I feel like a 100% different person!,' says Christiana. 'My self-confidence is high and my anxiety and depression have gone. I feel younger, healthier, and more vibrant than I ever have. I'm running faster and longer - two to three miles every day- not bad for someone who was an emotional couch potato - and my food cravings have disappeared.
'I'm off to Africa for 6 mos. for missions work for my church, and I have no concerns about West Nile, malaria, or other potential health issues there because I am in such vibrant health, thanks to Slimplicity and Reliv. I'm a different person and I love it!'"
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris
Alone vs. Loneliness
I used to hate being alone. I almost had a fear of it. I knew that when I was alone, I'd think inwardly, look at how pitiful my past was, and focus on negative self feedback, beating myself up in my own wallowing self-pity party. Through Counseling, Reliv, and just learning to love being alone WITH GOD, He has totally changed all that and is teaching me to love being with Him. If I'm alone, I'm truly not, b/c I'm in communication or in communion with His Spirit. If I have my Bible with me, even better.
The problem is; all my friends knew that I used to hate being alone and was constantly energized by being around lots of people. I was my mama's social butterfly (out of 8 children), I kept her calendar, and thought I'd make a great "Social Activities"/Event planner, party animal, secretary, and the like. I was pretty proud of myself and my way of communicating (which pretty much sucks in and of itself, but we're not hear beating me up; I'm learning that it's not all about me anyway). I enjoyed harmless flirting, but I was scared that it was dangerous and afraid of the wrong intentions or "fatal attraction" etc.! Now I see that I "escaped" to be with friends just to cover up my feelings at home or by myself or my dark lonely times.
So back to that "problem" - my poor friends have seen me disappear, have seen me put on Harry Potter's invisibility cloak and not known what's going on, only b/c I was trying to be respectful of privacy. Who wants to read about personal details? So they are led to believe rumors, lies, or their own opinion of what has gone on in my life this summer/fall/winter. I'm not blaming you, I just am learning "who my true friends are." My friend reminded me what Aslan told Edmond's siblings: "WHAT'S DONE IS DONE"!
I am more than excited to go to Congo and get some real family time. Bonding with my parents all over again, learning to truly love my younger siblings, and getting my hands dirty (in the humidity and bugs) in missions work is going to teach me a lot. It's an exciting journey that God is bringing me through!!!!
I think that will teach me what alone time is all about (far away from all my friends, my stateside life, American way of life, etc.), and who I really am.
My grandmother (Elisabeth Elliot) used to say, "It doesn't matter who you are, it matters WHOSE you are." I am confident that I walk under the Shadow of His wing, not just some random robot or freak of nature. I am perfect in Him, but we just can't see it yet. I need to be myself and have my family love on me (while I go through a healing process) but I also need to be reminded of who I really am in Christ.
My past is just as dark and ugly as the next guy behind bars; who am I to judge, throw stones? I am no better except through the cross of Christ, my friends! How encouraging is that?!
thnx for your prayers and for "listening."
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris
The problem is; all my friends knew that I used to hate being alone and was constantly energized by being around lots of people. I was my mama's social butterfly (out of 8 children), I kept her calendar, and thought I'd make a great "Social Activities"/Event planner, party animal, secretary, and the like. I was pretty proud of myself and my way of communicating (which pretty much sucks in and of itself, but we're not hear beating me up; I'm learning that it's not all about me anyway). I enjoyed harmless flirting, but I was scared that it was dangerous and afraid of the wrong intentions or "fatal attraction" etc.! Now I see that I "escaped" to be with friends just to cover up my feelings at home or by myself or my dark lonely times.
So back to that "problem" - my poor friends have seen me disappear, have seen me put on Harry Potter's invisibility cloak and not known what's going on, only b/c I was trying to be respectful of privacy. Who wants to read about personal details? So they are led to believe rumors, lies, or their own opinion of what has gone on in my life this summer/fall/winter. I'm not blaming you, I just am learning "who my true friends are." My friend reminded me what Aslan told Edmond's siblings: "WHAT'S DONE IS DONE"!
I am more than excited to go to Congo and get some real family time. Bonding with my parents all over again, learning to truly love my younger siblings, and getting my hands dirty (in the humidity and bugs) in missions work is going to teach me a lot. It's an exciting journey that God is bringing me through!!!!
I think that will teach me what alone time is all about (far away from all my friends, my stateside life, American way of life, etc.), and who I really am.
My grandmother (Elisabeth Elliot) used to say, "It doesn't matter who you are, it matters WHOSE you are." I am confident that I walk under the Shadow of His wing, not just some random robot or freak of nature. I am perfect in Him, but we just can't see it yet. I need to be myself and have my family love on me (while I go through a healing process) but I also need to be reminded of who I really am in Christ.
My past is just as dark and ugly as the next guy behind bars; who am I to judge, throw stones? I am no better except through the cross of Christ, my friends! How encouraging is that?!
thnx for your prayers and for "listening."
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris
What We're Saved From
My uncle and I discussed the realness of people at his home church (the one I've been attending lately). wochurch.org When I say Realness I mean reality, genuine authenticity, and sincerity, such as when I stumbled across this blog noefool.com and found the thoughts on a sermon re: authenticity. I have found such "Real" people through my company Reliv, and in certain churches or through friends and family, but sadly, these REAL people are becoming few and far between, harder to find. It's so cool the way these people (at my uncle's church) worship - real, unashamed, unabashed, but not necessarily "holy rollers" or showy craziness either. And everywhere you go in that church I find true joy in their lives and on their faces. It's not a masked brief smile or a quick "how are you" it's a meaningful contented peace, a true and lasting joy. My uncle and I realized it's because they have seen grace, they actually KNOW and realize what they're saved FROM, and so therefore they are real and they aren't judging you/us. Course we all judge and I will find people like that anywhere too, but I just wanted you to know the difference. Now I've seen what I've been saved from, where I come from and the grace that's available. That is what's so amazing about grace.
The cross is big enough, folks. That's what astounds me. I pray that I can be real, full of joy and hope, during dark times, during the Christmas season, or any time. So I can share with others (in the Congo too) what He's done for me.
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris
The cross is big enough, folks. That's what astounds me. I pray that I can be real, full of joy and hope, during dark times, during the Christmas season, or any time. So I can share with others (in the Congo too) what He's done for me.
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris
Wait Passionately
In two places E.P.'s The Message has "wait passionately." As an impatient person I'm trying to figure out how to apply that to my life. Ps. 37:34 has it. I guess I was confused, thinking I needed to "wait, rest in God" quietly (which I still need to do but haven't mastered it yet, part of the Sanctification process), but I guess it has something to do with the deer panting perhaps? If an animal is thirsty, they wait till they can locate their watering hole I suppose. But they don't just sit there and wait, they actually try and do something about it. If I'm thirsty, I buy a bottle of water or go get myself a drink from the fridge/sink etc. Sometimes I have to sit and wait for something bigger to happen (money to buy the bottle of water? Cups and glasses to be washed? Filter to fill the pitcher with clean water?) But until then, I pant and get chapped lips, and feel cotton mouthed. So I must do something about it. My dad taught me to get others a drink first before you fill your own (don't always do it, mind you, just a good practice to remember). I think I remember Sheldon Vanauken's "A Severe Mercy" speaking of when he and his wife would get up in the middle of night for each other, bringing "a cup of cold water in the dark." That in and of itself is sheer sacrifice!
Dr. Paul Kooistra shares this sweet story:
"Dr. Robertson McQuilkin, retired president of Col. Int'l Univ. and elder statesman in the evangelical world, was gracious enough to agree to meet with me [and his wife Jan]...Finally he said to us, 'I'd like for you to meet my wife, Muriel.'
We were aware that Mrs. McQuilkin suffered from Alzheimer's Disease, and knew that her husband had retired in order to devote full time to her care. I felt awkward, but Jan, a skilled geriatric nurse, gently took her hand and kissed her cheek softly. The old lady's eyes brightened as she began to pat Jan's hand.
'The last words she was ever able to say were, 'I love you,'' Dr. McQuilkin said. He related how, after her memory began to fade, she would spend her days strolling down the driveway that led from their home to his office. 'I came to tell you that I love you,' she would say. Her husband would spend a few minutes with her before a student assistant would gently take her elbow to guide her home, but in less than an hour she would appear again. 'I want to remind you that I love you.'
Gradually forgetting her routines, her recipes, her friends, even her own name, she yet remembered the love of her life. Some powerful inner compass drew her to him a dozen times a day. As strength faded, love grew. At night as her husband removed her shoes, he would find her socks adhered to her feet, glued by the blood from scratches and blisters she hadn't noticed as she shuffled back and forth, back and forth, over to the path to the one she loved. The sight of that blood pricked his heart. He knew it was time to let go of his own agenda to care for her. Her welfare became his passion.
Here I was witnessing love that met her most quiet needs, visible to no eye but God's- love that permeated every corner of that home. Love massaged lotion into bleeding feet, comforted fears at midnight, and wearily spooned pureed food into a hungry mouth with tenderness and dignity- asking no thanks, expecting no fanfare.
The palpable presence of Christ in that home impacted me more than all the lectures and theories on missions that humble man could ever have spoken. As he related the story, he spoke mildly with no trace of bitterness of disappointment.
'It was the sight of her blood that changed everything.'
The Son of God showed His love with His blood- the blood He shed on the cross for you and me. It is the blood that changes everything."
That's what we all want, someone to grow old with us to love and care for us always, or what we all want for our grandparents. But we already have it - we can only find it, true pure love in Jesus Christ.
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris
Dr. Paul Kooistra shares this sweet story:
"Dr. Robertson McQuilkin, retired president of Col. Int'l Univ. and elder statesman in the evangelical world, was gracious enough to agree to meet with me [and his wife Jan]...Finally he said to us, 'I'd like for you to meet my wife, Muriel.'
We were aware that Mrs. McQuilkin suffered from Alzheimer's Disease, and knew that her husband had retired in order to devote full time to her care. I felt awkward, but Jan, a skilled geriatric nurse, gently took her hand and kissed her cheek softly. The old lady's eyes brightened as she began to pat Jan's hand.
'The last words she was ever able to say were, 'I love you,'' Dr. McQuilkin said. He related how, after her memory began to fade, she would spend her days strolling down the driveway that led from their home to his office. 'I came to tell you that I love you,' she would say. Her husband would spend a few minutes with her before a student assistant would gently take her elbow to guide her home, but in less than an hour she would appear again. 'I want to remind you that I love you.'
Gradually forgetting her routines, her recipes, her friends, even her own name, she yet remembered the love of her life. Some powerful inner compass drew her to him a dozen times a day. As strength faded, love grew. At night as her husband removed her shoes, he would find her socks adhered to her feet, glued by the blood from scratches and blisters she hadn't noticed as she shuffled back and forth, back and forth, over to the path to the one she loved. The sight of that blood pricked his heart. He knew it was time to let go of his own agenda to care for her. Her welfare became his passion.
Here I was witnessing love that met her most quiet needs, visible to no eye but God's- love that permeated every corner of that home. Love massaged lotion into bleeding feet, comforted fears at midnight, and wearily spooned pureed food into a hungry mouth with tenderness and dignity- asking no thanks, expecting no fanfare.
The palpable presence of Christ in that home impacted me more than all the lectures and theories on missions that humble man could ever have spoken. As he related the story, he spoke mildly with no trace of bitterness of disappointment.
'It was the sight of her blood that changed everything.'
The Son of God showed His love with His blood- the blood He shed on the cross for you and me. It is the blood that changes everything."
That's what we all want, someone to grow old with us to love and care for us always, or what we all want for our grandparents. But we already have it - we can only find it, true pure love in Jesus Christ.
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris
Justification AND Sanctification
I've been wanting to blog for some time but I can't seem to access my xanga or myspace, so I will keep blogging here. I just want to be respectful, and conversationalist, so if I bother you here, lemme know, go ahead and comment or msg me. This is not an essay or sermon, it's simply my mind's ramblings.
No one might care to know that much about what I think (or my understanding of) Justification and Sanctification but I just want to blog about it for the time being while it's fresh on my mind. Thanksgiving took me to my sister's in Chicago which took me to her church, Wheaton College Church. Doug Moo taught an excellent SS class in which I experienced an ephiphany.
First of all, no doubt about it, we all feel or think or believe differently about Justification and Sanctification, and that's ok. But as long as I realize (for my own personal sanity, or IMHO) that what's important is BOTH AND (in Theatre we might say, "Yes, and..." if you know true Improv), NOT either-or. A lot of people forget Sanctification or throw it out the window. They might ignore it, they might embrace it, and forget Justification. But I'm not trying to sound Calvinistic Presbyterian, here, I just want to understand the Bible. I think the Bible clearly outlines BOTH. This is not a choice, an either-or. You know those ANNOYING voices now that tell you on the phone, "I'm sorry, I did not understand you." I think I've heard one that says, "I'm sorry, that was not one of the options." Well, justification OR sanctification, to Mr. Moo, is not an option.
OK, whew, we're onto a good start. Just how can you focus too much on one and not the other? Well, by all means, a Pauline disciple would probably note the pure "just shall live by faith" etc., justification through Christ's imputed Righteousness (or, ok if you don't like that, we are justified, have been justified, were once justified, whichever, by Christ's work on the cross, etc.) ok, still with me?
Whereas James (and it turns out other Pauline passages) talks a lot about WORKS, DOERS, that sort of fun thing.
Sanctification can either be a PROCESS to some (to me it is) or it's either a one time, "WOW, holy moly, you've already been, ding, check, you are sanctified, you already were once upon a time when you accepted Christ." If you believe that way, that's fine, I just want to throw it out there for you. Personally I enjoy analogies, as in, "Shadowlands" when Joy teaches Jack about processes and the like. Marriage (a picture of our relationship to Christ) is a process, she is trying to tell him. Life is. So there.
Once upon a time, I grew up in a Christian household, call it conservative (some say sheltered or overprotected), but it was a Pastor's family, grandchild of missionaries (on both sides). I fell in love with Church! I know, sounds odd, but I did, at a young age. I was so active and involved, that I was in love with my church family and grew to love going as often as possible (usually only 2 maybe 3 times a week), and looked forward to Sundays (our Sabbath). I think somewhere along the line (I knew better in my head, but my heart didn't understand) I started a really great Christian life, working out my salvation, with lots of fear and plenty of trembling. In high school my world collapsed, leaving one church, then going through a painful church split, then in collage, I fell into depression. I don't enjoy talking about it, because I don't want to "go back into Egypt" and get back the feeling of darkness and oppression, and I want to protect people and other personal issues) who/which don't need to be mentioned who may have been involved. Counseling helped but I'm not blaming anyone or anything other than "the fear of man." I worked so hard at my faith and becoming the Proverbs 31 woman, that I had myself on this high pedastal and really thought I had it all, I had the training, the head knowledge, I knew all I was supposed to do, and yet, why was I so unhappy? Ok, work on contentedness, I thought.
The problem is, I was sooo focused on sanctification that I may have forgotten the most important part (again, I KNEW it but it just didn't register - for years, sadly). So I became a 100%, bona fide people pleaser, pushover, eager to please, compliant person. Anything that would make YOU happy, I'd do it.
HELLO! Red flag!! I should be making Jesus happy but I think I was just hurting Him more by making idols out of my life, my school, my church, my work/business/career/jobs, marriage, family, etc. everything... Everything but Him. He had to wake me up, slap me upside the head (while I was kicking and screaming) by taking E V E R Y T H I N G far away so that I could finally realize that it's all (and I mean A L L) about
G
R
A
C
E.
I have drawn closer to God than ever before. At first I thought I was already close to God (gasp, gulp!) - I was praying, doing everything right, going to church, trying counselors, trying to make everyone else around me happy, yet still an emotional basket case. So then, what did I do? I fell head first into a deep dark slimy pit. Sure, maybe someone pushed me or pulled me into theirs, but I also jumped headfirst into one too. WRONG. Totally NOT the right way to "do" anything.
Face it. I thought I was pretty righteous. I would pray against pride and self-righteousness, but really what is righteousness all about?
RIGHT RELATEDNESS. Yeah, hello. having a RIGHT relationship with the One Righteous Person who already made it possible. My judge and my Savior in the Same Person! My Father, Redeemer, Lord and Master, who is teaching me all about Leading and Serving. The One of Great Paradoxes that make my head spin with disbelief (Lord, help my unbelief). His mercy covers all!!!
Who would NOT want to accept the Grace offered?!!
Only a blind man. "An unspiritual man doesn't understand spiritual things." - That's what breaks my heart: when those I love and care about don't see His faithfulness, complain because they weren't blessed with enough gifts, when the biggest greatest gift of all is staring us in the face: G R A C E. Because now I've seen it, first hand. See, my testimony isn't that great, it was all happy, warm and fuzzy in the beginning, I've always known Jesus. But to really see and feel, know and touch, remember and try to understand, grasping Grace, is a totally different thing!
Bringin' it back. Focus - ah yes, J&S. OK, now that I know I'm justified, and now that I know I will be clay (all part of the process) until I die, how could I forget either of them? Well, that's just it. Some of us think, "Well, we don't need/want a rulebook; those Christians don't seem to be having much fun, so if I say I believe then I'm justified and I can live comfortably without having to change anything." Or, sadly, we compartmentalize so much that Christ has no way of taking up a sincere residence in our homes, our hearts, our lives. Then we'd see fruit, then we'd know we are gifted with His fruits, and we'd live like a joyful adopted child, not a wretched orphan! Why do we still act spoiled or blind? Because Satan knows EXACTLY where to attack, hit, hurt, wound all our vulnerabilities. It's so much easier living with just focusing on one of them. It's easy to live justified, not having to concern ourselves with sanctification. But that is a contradiction! Paul says very boldly, Well then, should we go and sin all the more?
A resounding NO, he shouts back.
Ok then. It's easy to work and do all we can to save ourselves, and forget about the other. We'll get to heaven faster if we work ourselves to the dust. Well, sorry folks, but that is the other side of the coin- another contradiction, that I was living. I probably will still fight it, I know I will fight against the fear of man, and I know I don't have it all figured out, and I still struggle with praying "enough." hint: if you ever feel like you've prayed enough, pray some more. It'll do ya good, I promise. If you feel like you already went to church or tried talking to the Pastor, go again. If you feel like church is full of hypocrites, well guess what, the world is too, and we're all in need of grace...
We're all in need of the Cross. There is more to life than this. Heaven is not a long 24hr church service, it's going to be so unfathomably cool that none of us can grasp just how awesome it really is going to be. To finally be 100% sanctified will be awesome, I know that much! Not to have to worry all the time about anything!! (I know, see, now, I don't need to (I shouldn't), but I still do). We're all recovering Pharisees, just our own version of religion (even people that say they're non-religious, has their own belief system and tolerance has become a form of religion).
I just want to shout,
IF YOU KNEW MY SAVIOR YOU'D WANT SOME TOO!
:-)
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris
No one might care to know that much about what I think (or my understanding of) Justification and Sanctification but I just want to blog about it for the time being while it's fresh on my mind. Thanksgiving took me to my sister's in Chicago which took me to her church, Wheaton College Church. Doug Moo taught an excellent SS class in which I experienced an ephiphany.
First of all, no doubt about it, we all feel or think or believe differently about Justification and Sanctification, and that's ok. But as long as I realize (for my own personal sanity, or IMHO) that what's important is BOTH AND (in Theatre we might say, "Yes, and..." if you know true Improv), NOT either-or. A lot of people forget Sanctification or throw it out the window. They might ignore it, they might embrace it, and forget Justification. But I'm not trying to sound Calvinistic Presbyterian, here, I just want to understand the Bible. I think the Bible clearly outlines BOTH. This is not a choice, an either-or. You know those ANNOYING voices now that tell you on the phone, "I'm sorry, I did not understand you." I think I've heard one that says, "I'm sorry, that was not one of the options." Well, justification OR sanctification, to Mr. Moo, is not an option.
OK, whew, we're onto a good start. Just how can you focus too much on one and not the other? Well, by all means, a Pauline disciple would probably note the pure "just shall live by faith" etc., justification through Christ's imputed Righteousness (or, ok if you don't like that, we are justified, have been justified, were once justified, whichever, by Christ's work on the cross, etc.) ok, still with me?
Whereas James (and it turns out other Pauline passages) talks a lot about WORKS, DOERS, that sort of fun thing.
Sanctification can either be a PROCESS to some (to me it is) or it's either a one time, "WOW, holy moly, you've already been, ding, check, you are sanctified, you already were once upon a time when you accepted Christ." If you believe that way, that's fine, I just want to throw it out there for you. Personally I enjoy analogies, as in, "Shadowlands" when Joy teaches Jack about processes and the like. Marriage (a picture of our relationship to Christ) is a process, she is trying to tell him. Life is. So there.
Once upon a time, I grew up in a Christian household, call it conservative (some say sheltered or overprotected), but it was a Pastor's family, grandchild of missionaries (on both sides). I fell in love with Church! I know, sounds odd, but I did, at a young age. I was so active and involved, that I was in love with my church family and grew to love going as often as possible (usually only 2 maybe 3 times a week), and looked forward to Sundays (our Sabbath). I think somewhere along the line (I knew better in my head, but my heart didn't understand) I started a really great Christian life, working out my salvation, with lots of fear and plenty of trembling. In high school my world collapsed, leaving one church, then going through a painful church split, then in collage, I fell into depression. I don't enjoy talking about it, because I don't want to "go back into Egypt" and get back the feeling of darkness and oppression, and I want to protect people and other personal issues) who/which don't need to be mentioned who may have been involved. Counseling helped but I'm not blaming anyone or anything other than "the fear of man." I worked so hard at my faith and becoming the Proverbs 31 woman, that I had myself on this high pedastal and really thought I had it all, I had the training, the head knowledge, I knew all I was supposed to do, and yet, why was I so unhappy? Ok, work on contentedness, I thought.
The problem is, I was sooo focused on sanctification that I may have forgotten the most important part (again, I KNEW it but it just didn't register - for years, sadly). So I became a 100%, bona fide people pleaser, pushover, eager to please, compliant person. Anything that would make YOU happy, I'd do it.
HELLO! Red flag!! I should be making Jesus happy but I think I was just hurting Him more by making idols out of my life, my school, my church, my work/business/career/jobs,
G
R
A
C
E.
I have drawn closer to God than ever before. At first I thought I was already close to God (gasp, gulp!) - I was praying, doing everything right, going to church, trying counselors, trying to make everyone else around me happy, yet still an emotional basket case. So then, what did I do? I fell head first into a deep dark slimy pit. Sure, maybe someone pushed me or pulled me into theirs, but I also jumped headfirst into one too. WRONG. Totally NOT the right way to "do" anything.
Face it. I thought I was pretty righteous. I would pray against pride and self-righteousness, but really what is righteousness all about?
RIGHT RELATEDNESS. Yeah, hello. having a RIGHT relationship with the One Righteous Person who already made it possible. My judge and my Savior in the Same Person! My Father, Redeemer, Lord and Master, who is teaching me all about Leading and Serving. The One of Great Paradoxes that make my head spin with disbelief (Lord, help my unbelief). His mercy covers all!!!
Who would NOT want to accept the Grace offered?!!
Only a blind man. "An unspiritual man doesn't understand spiritual things." - That's what breaks my heart: when those I love and care about don't see His faithfulness, complain because they weren't blessed with enough gifts, when the biggest greatest gift of all is staring us in the face: G R A C E. Because now I've seen it, first hand. See, my testimony isn't that great, it was all happy, warm and fuzzy in the beginning, I've always known Jesus. But to really see and feel, know and touch, remember and try to understand, grasping Grace, is a totally different thing!
Bringin' it back. Focus - ah yes, J&S. OK, now that I know I'm justified, and now that I know I will be clay (all part of the process) until I die, how could I forget either of them? Well, that's just it. Some of us think, "Well, we don't need/want a rulebook; those Christians don't seem to be having much fun, so if I say I believe then I'm justified and I can live comfortably without having to change anything." Or, sadly, we compartmentalize so much that Christ has no way of taking up a sincere residence in our homes, our hearts, our lives. Then we'd see fruit, then we'd know we are gifted with His fruits, and we'd live like a joyful adopted child, not a wretched orphan! Why do we still act spoiled or blind? Because Satan knows EXACTLY where to attack, hit, hurt, wound all our vulnerabilities. It's so much easier living with just focusing on one of them. It's easy to live justified, not having to concern ourselves with sanctification. But that is a contradiction! Paul says very boldly, Well then, should we go and sin all the more?
A resounding NO, he shouts back.
Ok then. It's easy to work and do all we can to save ourselves, and forget about the other. We'll get to heaven faster if we work ourselves to the dust. Well, sorry folks, but that is the other side of the coin- another contradiction, that I was living. I probably will still fight it, I know I will fight against the fear of man, and I know I don't have it all figured out, and I still struggle with praying "enough." hint: if you ever feel like you've prayed enough, pray some more. It'll do ya good, I promise. If you feel like you already went to church or tried talking to the Pastor, go again. If you feel like church is full of hypocrites, well guess what, the world is too, and we're all in need of grace...
We're all in need of the Cross. There is more to life than this. Heaven is not a long 24hr church service, it's going to be so unfathomably cool that none of us can grasp just how awesome it really is going to be. To finally be 100% sanctified will be awesome, I know that much! Not to have to worry all the time about anything!! (I know, see, now, I don't need to (I shouldn't), but I still do). We're all recovering Pharisees, just our own version of religion (even people that say they're non-religious, has their own belief system and tolerance has become a form of religion).
I just want to shout,
IF YOU KNEW MY SAVIOR YOU'D WANT SOME TOO!
:-)
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris
What I'm learning
My dad's friend (a Katrina hero down south, where he has helped lots of people on the coast) gave us all copies of helpful booklets, one being a devo called "The 31 Days of Grace." Today's (Day 2) reading quotes an awesome word from "The Valley of Vision." It just so happens that lately God has blessed me each day with the exact word I so needed at that time. For a while I heard of people having that experience, but I didn't get a chance to really feel that or get it until the last couple months. It's incredible, so I'm really grateful for an encouraging word when it really totally hits the spot you know?
"To enrich me will not diminish thy fullness;
All they lovingkindness is in they Son,
I bring him to thee in the arms of faith,
I urge his saving name as the one who died for me,
I plead his blood to pay my debts of wrong,
Accept his wrothiness for my unworthiness,
his sinlessness for my transgression,
his purity for my uncleanness,
his sincereity for my guile,
his truth for my deceits,
his meekness for my pride,
his constancy for my backslidings,
his love for my enmity,
his fullness for my emptiness,
his faithfulness for my treachery,
his obedience for my lawlessness,
his glory for my shame,
his devotedness for my waywardness,
his holy life for my unchaste ways,
his righteousness for my dead works,
his death for my life." tVoV p.157
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris
"To enrich me will not diminish thy fullness;
All they lovingkindness is in they Son,
I bring him to thee in the arms of faith,
I urge his saving name as the one who died for me,
I plead his blood to pay my debts of wrong,
Accept his wrothiness for my unworthiness,
his sinlessness for my transgression,
his purity for my uncleanness,
his sincereity for my guile,
his truth for my deceits,
his meekness for my pride,
his constancy for my backslidings,
his love for my enmity,
his fullness for my emptiness,
his faithfulness for my treachery,
his obedience for my lawlessness,
his glory for my shame,
his devotedness for my waywardness,
his holy life for my unchaste ways,
his righteousness for my dead works,
his death for my life." tVoV p.157
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
TIAB
I can't believe it's happening.
My life has changed drastically in the last year. God has led me through a lot, and I can't wait to see what's going to happen next.
Why did I title this "TIAB"? It stands for "This is Africa, Baby." I'm so excited, I get to go spend 6mos. in the Congo, Africa!!! At first I thought, "Me? No way, not the humidity and the bugs!" but who cares, I'm going.
It'll be "Christmas in the Congo"!!!! YAY!!!!
I have everything set and ready to go. God is so good, so faithful. I wish everyone could see how great HE is!!!
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris
My life has changed drastically in the last year. God has led me through a lot, and I can't wait to see what's going to happen next.
Why did I title this "TIAB"? It stands for "This is Africa, Baby." I'm so excited, I get to go spend 6mos. in the Congo, Africa!!! At first I thought, "Me? No way, not the humidity and the bugs!" but who cares, I'm going.
It'll be "Christmas in the Congo"!!!! YAY!!!!
I have everything set and ready to go. God is so good, so faithful. I wish everyone could see how great HE is!!!
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris
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