"It's time to bring the Arts back to the Church!"

http://www.actinternational.org/GMA/estes2007/june11/arts.htm

"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris

Memory

How long, Oh Lord, will this thing last? The Psalmist lamented and begged.How long, before it begins? a new group whines and bangs on the piano.How long, before You take her home? I ask my God.How long does my mother have to watch her mother's memory fade? Some people have opinions about what we should and shouldn't remember. The sweetest and truest memories are played out in songs, poems, photographs, and story-telling times (recorded or repeated by mouth). People say, "OH, he has to deal with so much! You don't know how much he is bothered!" Sure, but I watch/read "The Notebook" and other stories like it and I think "WOW. Can a human really love someone that well and that much?" I can only hope.My mother asks for a miracle. I ask for peace. My sister asks for grace and patience. A miracle is not too much to ask of God. My friends apologize and wish they could help. My husband tries to comfort me as I sob and read the pain my mother has to deal with.Her friend Ruth B G just passed. My new friend just lost her father (heart attack). My business-friend just lost her grandmother. My other new business-friend lost a true friend - to cancer. What do you say when someone grieves?How do you comfort someone who is mourning? One week ago was the anniversary of my father's father's death. Someone who remembers, adds a funny tale, trying to keep that smile on. We offer meals and treats, as if to soothe the emptiness. The void, the empty seat, the smile that isn't there.Do I want to grieve that? Are we ready for that? Are we ready to lose the life that brought so much joy and peace? People say, "Ah but remember the good God brought out of it!!" when her first two husbands died. Yes, she led a life of example - showing the world she was doing all she knew to do, to take that step of faith and forgive, live, and eat among the people that killed her love. She then remained a reserved, but then outspoken leader at the same time. Her fans adored her, her critics couldn't take her conviction and conservative nature. So we tossed more books aside or they ordered more. Either way she shrugged and pointed up to her Savior. He did it all, "Glory be to God. I didn't do any of it!" -she'd humbly, quickly reply. Her later years have been filled with quiet submission. What else is there to do? "This is her lot in life. This is where the line falls." She always repeated those verses. My heart would scream, "NO! THAT IS NOT HOW MARRIAGE IS SUPPOSED TO BE!" Except that it was. For her. She was comforted in following her leader, manager, husband; that's all she knew. All she knows. You know what dementia does to people? It makes them recoil, fear, and forget. First, she would get embarrassed and say, "OH yes, of course, you're right. I just forgot, silly me." Then it grew to recoiling from the healing touch of loved ones. Now it's "Who are you and what are you doing here, what am I doing here, why are you here, what is going on" every few moments. It is so frustrating, it makes me anxious the more I dwell on it. We are afraid of what we don't understand.Help us Lord, do we trust You? (Twila sang). Do I trust You, Lord? Do we? Are we ready and willing? OH, that's right - we wouldn't want to expect great things from God and ask too much, looking for a sign or a new wonderful miracle. Well, I'm asking right now. Forget the opinions and confusion. Pass over the anxiety and worry (how would that help?) It's time to ask for more....! We boldly approach the throne of Grace - our God is way bigger than this. He can handle so much more!
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris

Indifferent Rant Warning

My dearest friend gave me this today: "Most friends will bring ruin upon you, but a true friend is more loyal than a brother."
I really don't mean to be Veggie-Tale cheeseball here, but I truly am thankful for my true friends today. And most of all for that One Friend Who is closer than a brother right now.
I think I get it now. I know why I'm annoying when I apologize so much, and when I admit I'm wrong people go "Oh don't patronize me, don't give me the guilt trip" (when I didn't mean to or didn't mean to come across that way). They don't want to admit they did anything wrong. Why is it sooo uncomfortable for us to admit anything??!!
In Summer Jam (Vacation Bible School at my church/Preston Taylor community west of Nashville) this week, we talked to the kids about the ABC's of becoming a Christian, or, FAITH. First and foremost we have to
A dmit
B elieve
C onfess
Which comes first? Say it again? Repeat. Yes, repeat after me: ADMIT! BELIEVE! CONFESS! And here I am boasting that I admit I'm wrong? Well, way down deep somewhere I believe it's a sign of humility. But, (here I am Laughing Out Loud!) that would be a contradiction right off the bat. I'm not humble, I'm very much in need of GRACE.
Back to the ABC's. The simple basics of faith. Woah, hold on - when was faith basic? When was faith deemed simple? All we need is a tiny mustard seed? Sounds pretty basic + simple to me! Are we all in the rat race just repeating sayings like robots? Noooo.... bear with me here....
But here's where it's not simple. Admitting is not a simple thing to do. Believing is certainly not an easy basic step. And confessing is definitely not comfortable. Sure it's healing, but it's not what we all sign up, run up to the front of the line to do. Somewhere I told myself, along the way, that if I'm first to apologize then "that will keep the peace and we will all get along." So I rush to say "I'm sorry." Then people quickly answer back, "Oh no you don't need to be sorry." me: "But I feel badly for you (that such & such happened)." them: "You don't need to feel bad." So it's a silly cycle and we laugh it off. But deep inside I still feel bad. I still feel guilty, so people tell me, oh it's a lie of Satan that there's still guilt there. Oh! That's right, I didn't pray enough. I didn't go to the Throne of Grace FIRST. Ohhh, right right, "approach the throne BOLDLY!" Alrighty then! So I run back.
As my dad likes to say, we all have to, need to preach the gospel DAILY to ourselves. Run back to the cross, go "back 2 basics" and learn those ABC's again. When friendships grow distant, when marriages fall apart, and relationships are awkward or painful, difficult and unresolved, it truly is the most painful thing. Why do we have to go through this? I'm soooo willing to fix it but they're like "We're wayy past that." Well, my friends, God gave us that craving. Those desires to fix what the Fall broke. That need and hunger for a harmonius relationship. The circle of friendship, the continuous unity that the wedding band symbolizes.
Beth Moore said if Jesus Christ could raise the dead, back to life, then God can raise a dead marriage! (insert: friendship, relationship, etc.) I pray that I as I draw closer to my Heavenly Father, that I become the woman He wants me to be: i.e. the wife, daughter, sister, friend, someday mother, that He designed. That means a light, a witness, that bears His name, and that proudly carries His Word with me. Also, I want to get in your face and scream with tears running down my cheeks, how much I love my Savior, and how I want to not care how your words or deeds have hurt me. Or would you forgive me for whatever I did to lose the friendship. I thought God brought you to me; I thank Him for our fun memories together, and all that we taught each other, but I still want to know why we broke the bond.
I'm not over it. I'm not over you. I want to shout it from the rooftops that God did give me a sense of loyalty, and I will stand by, stick by, and fight for those I love, care about, and pray for. Nope, I won't get tired of you.
Is that so annoying? Irritating? To pop your personal space bubble and embarrass you by being MYSELF? The Tigger that Eeyore and Rabbit really can't stand but can't do without? :) (Like us women say about our men: "(sigh). Boys. You can't live with 'em and you can't live without Him.")
I'm not apologizing here to my dear Catholic friends here, but I'm gonna quote Luther for a second. LOL. Anyway, he said, "Love God?! Sometime I hate Him!"
People have always teased, cautioned and lovingly warned me that I use strong words strongly. As in, "I LOVE French fries!" "I Love my husband!" (Yeah you wanna marry a deep fried potato?) then I say "Ew I HATE that movie!" "I hate what I just heard on the news about _sin_ that just happened"
Well, here I am. He accepts me just as I am. I want you to know He welcomes you, us, in His presence, just as we are. Grace, blood, sweat and tears, they all cover it all.
Wow, pretty staggering isn't it? I'll stop there.:)

The Passing of a Beloved Saint

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19210879/I am so glad she's wish Him, seeing His face!

Aw...

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070614/ap_on_re_us/billy_graham_burial
My middle name Ruth, was named for Ruth Bell Graham, a family friend; not only is she Presbyterian (my dad's side of the family) but she attended Wheaton College at the same time my grandparents (Jim & Elisabeth Elliot) went. I directed the reader's theatre version of her life story, Footprints of a Pilgrim at Trevecca. Wheaton is where two cousins on my dad's side went, it is where I attended a CS Lewis conference and met my good friend Cacie, and it is where my sister, mother (and grandparents mentioned above) went. I've been to Montreat and the Billy Graham Museum at Wheaton, but I haven't been to the museum at Charlotte. Once when I was 8 yo, my grandmother took me to dinner at Ruth's home (near the Cove -where my parents have been-). We drove up the long private driveway (first waiting at the large entrance gate to open) and heard 2 lovely German Shepherds barking like crazy. As we parked and got out, Ruth serenely walked out, cool, calm and collected, with the most gracious, warm, sweet smile on her face, telling the dogs to be quiet. They immediately obeyed her and then we went inside for Chinese takeout. (Ruth spent some of her life as a MK in China and has had a favorite Chinese restaurant near her home for years - she recommends it to people, etc.:)) Their mansion was soooo beautiful, filled with good books, and the warm comforting feeling of HOME. Billy was "on tour" of course, but I remember that day so well... she truly is a beloved "saint of God." Will you join me in prayer for their family? I've heard Franklin and Anne G. Lotz both speak as well. Maybe it is time for her to be with her Savior.

Scribbling

Jesus scribbled. We don't know what He wrote, but we know He showed something in the sand that day to the Pharisees (the Tattlers, the Tattle Talers who wanted to catch Him in their traps of trickery). Lots has been written on this subject...
I've been going through the Gospel according to John, and I came upon this story today. I've always loved this story because it teaches us so much without all the content, yet we still take it out of context. If we really believed we are sinful and Jesus has saved us, would we act the way we do and still judge? Later in that chapter He continues on about judging each other...
My dad would call us all "recovering Pharisees" (and there are books on the subject). Looking back, I remember being a child who was so fearful of getting in trouble, causing trouble, making a ruckus, that I just had to make peace, and was so afraid of upsetting anyone... So what did I do? I'd always cover my tracks, I'd (and I still do, in an annoying way) rush to apologize so early so no one would feel bad or blame me. I'd run to "save" my younger siblings and be accountable or responsible for them. (Not that I could or can save anyone else!!!) But, I think I justified my "tattling" with reports. I always I had to "report back to" the teacher, parent, or authority. "Oh, he did this, but it was because I did so and so first... It's ok really because we're sorry and we can fix it."
There is something so wrong with my theology here, it makes me smile. I say I'm Presbyterian, and a Believer, a conservative Christian (bearing the name of Christ), daughter of a pastor, granddaughter of missionaries on both sides, yet, I should've known better. I should know that if I truly believe I'm a daughter of the King, righteous (meaning: right relatedness with the Father), upheld by grace, worthy of eternal life's blessings, then I would carry myself better - with Christ esteem, Christ confidence, and with graciousness.
Oh yeah - I forgot. I'm human.. My selfish nature still wants to throw stones, drag the wet cat in and say, "Look what she did! Aren't you going to stop her?!" and I still try and trick, test, or trap people, even those I love I'm sorry to say. How dare I mess with condemnation and judgment when I'm not even a witness sometimes, or not even in the jury's seat, so how could I try and be a judge? I now see it in children I work with or babysit, "oooooh, teacher!!! LOOK what he did!!!" Or, the younger ones annoy the older ones and try to irritate them so they get blamed, and boy do they hate it when they feel responsible for the little kids. It's all a competition for attention.
I am an attention lover, attention getter, and I do not like that about myself. Yes I love to be recognized, applauded, esteemed, see my name in lights, and be the center of attention or in the limelight. When I get the wrong kind of attention though (say a wolfwhistlecatcall or uncomfortable stares) it still bothers me; my beauty should reflect my King's light and presence, not cause my brother to stumble or anything of the sort. I should have that stage presence (as we call it in theatre) that demands attention, and respect, but it gives credit back to my Savior, so I go crawl into a corner, take off my makeup and buy different outfits so as not to draw attention to certain things. Then I get nervous all over again that "Uh oh, someone will notice, someone will be offended..." Why does it matter? I'm used to being the popular preacher's kid who everyone looked up to, looked at, and expected a lot from. But on the other hand, God has granted me some holy desires as well.. See my flesh is struggling within right now! I know He wants me to be as Christ to people, treat them as if they were Christ and treat them as if I was Christ. Our Redeemer was "totally free indeed" (as He says later in the chapter). He had no qualms, no worries or concerns. He was the Messiah!! They didn't see it, because of the blindness, and how the Law was so important to them, but He didn't get anxious - He knew when and what was coming. It states at the end of the chapter that He concealed Himself so they couldn't stone Him. They still wanted to make Him look bad so they could puff themselves up (like birds do) and feel better they did the right thing (in their own eyes). I wish I was more humble, but I know it's all part of the Journey of Sanctification.
God knew beforehand that I would have these qualms, that on one hand I want to respect and honor my King and my husband, too. That I want to help people out of the kindness of my heart that He's given me, that I want to serve Him wholly, upright, and Joyfully. But my qualms, the worries and stones, get in the way. Pride is usually the factor, the root of my struggle. My reputation, my esteem, my feelings. What if...? I ask. I ask that all the time, in negative and positive ways. "What if they say this? What if they think this? What if someone gets hurt?" So I keep myself from going all the way, from being all there (as my grandfather J.E. put it). From diving in to the deepest waters and sharing His love, His gifts.
I feel absolutely free today. I stand amazed in His presence, that He has made me clean, washed me pure, and begun a new work in me. I know I am perfect in Christ, made righteous by His blood. Why be concerned over a stone? An opinion? A negative word or glance? A group that sets traps or has trickery? He accepts me as I am, the attention lover, the worried anxious soul, the fun loving gal, the helpful sweet person I think I am.
When something negative happens, we think, "Aw, they're such a ___ (good, sweet, etc.) person. Why would that happen, why do they deserve that? What did they do to deserve ___?" And when something good happens, we say, "Yay, what did we do to deserve this reward?! I can't ___ (eat, have, take etc.) this until I measure up and make things equal!" Or, "She needs to share ___ with so&so so we can all partake!"
That isn't the way our God works. Christ told them, "Who among you will cast the first stone?!!" No one was worthy, no one was willing, no one was able. I wonder how she felt. First she comes kicking and screaming, then she leaves with a clean slate, forgiven and whole. Actually loved even though she had been caught in adultery! Who would've guessed?! And they were trying to not only make her look bad, they were trying to catch our Savior in a law-trap. They were taking the verse/law out of context, first of all! Deut. 22:22.
What did He do? I love this. He ignored their question! My mama raised us to learn to be quiet if we were right. My siblings and I would triumphantly announce "Well I'm going to remain quiet from now on because I'm right!!" and gloat, boasting about our own self-righteous opinion. In my business, we try to stay away from arguments, because one can't argue with the truth! Who can argue with my friend who is out of a wheelchair because of this product?! Wow. Anyway, one by one the Pharisees slunk away. The sand, or the picture He illustrated, and His example He set, made them feel so foolish. Jesus was our fool for them, and then they begun to realize, "Oh I get it now. We can't trap Him." But they still continued to try! That's just it isn't it! Growing up we'd still try to argue, still stay in the same spot, fighting for our rights, our equality, our bratty selfish desire or opinion (because we thought we got it, we knew we were smarter or better than them, we knew we had studied more on the subject)... Then I'd cry. I'd end up crying because they didn't see my point of view. They couldn't see where I was coming from, they didn't try to stand in my shoes, or understand. I didn't feel heard or accepted. This is why I feel the child screaming, "Why don't you listen to me?! I'm more important! My belief is better!" And I have problems with agreeing to disagree. I want to see where they're coming from, I want to try and understand you, and I want to give you a chance, but I still want to know that someone understands me.
Why worry? He already knows, understands, and believe it or not, LOVES me. My Bible's footnote said at the end: "When we have more in common with the Pharisees than we do with Jesus, we become prone to begin focusing on another's faults while ignoring our own. But as we allow Jesus to work in and through our lives, we become gripped by His love so tenderly offered to us and to others. And it becomes our ardent desire to introduce people to the Savior who has forgiven all of our sins."-Zondervan's "The Knowing Jesus Study Bible."
hey sry this was so long "like father like daughter" huh?:)