After celebrating a semi-Cajun, tender Tennessean Christmas complete with a nice dinner,
my uncle took my Louisiana cousin and me about 40 minutes away to the Nashville airport around 4:30pm (after a tearful goodbye).
I couldn't check my luggage all the way to Congo (which is what my original plan was), but I made it through security
and sat and waited to board my plane (with plenty of time). After being in the air 20 minutes, we had to turn around
back to Nashville. Apparently, the pilot forgot to inform us the de-icer was overheating, and we all deboarded
glad that we'd rather be on a safe plane, but mad that we had to rebook or stay in Nashville for the night. I had to borrow
some lady's phone to make some fast decisions. United stinks, because of my bad experience in May (of never getting
to Boston), and now this, I have decided I don't ever want to use United again. My uncle kindly found me a flight out that night
on good ol' Southwest, who was way more helpful than United (who closed and I still have yet to get on a phone and demand a refund and complain).
That plane was delayed, but I got on at 10:20 and arrived in Baltimore (having to cancel my plans in Dulles, and very
grateful to a kind family friend) around 1am. After waiting a while for the luggage carausel, we finally discovered
one of my trunks in Oversized, popped, cracked, busted OPEN, with my undies hanging out and the guys apologizing saying they promise
they tried loading it all back in from the cargo area (come to find out I did find a stray bottle of lotion from some other lady's luggage!).
Being so tired and knowing this family friend would be waiting for me, I just gave up trying to fight for a claim about it, so I finally found
my ride, and they kindly took me all over Annapolis looking for an open WalMart to replace my trunk. We were all so tired and nothing was open (Walgreens wouldn't
be selling storage like that until after Christmas), so we came home. They had to locate one of their old storage bins in their attic!
I feel eternally grateful to this kind family. I got to sleep a little but had to be up again for the trip to Dulles (to meet my sister).
I actually rode past the Washington monument and the lit Capitol dome!! (I've never been to DC and having always wanted to go I was super excited she pointed it out to me)!
After a long line lugging my trunks through to the Ethiopian airlines counter, the man was real rough with me warning me I'd had to pay for my oversized CarryOn.
I promise you this thing has been through lots of plane trips, carryon, so I KNEW and KNOWS it fits. So I decided to wait and see if I could take it with me, and then was more than relieved,
so excited to see my sister at the gate! We waited in line to board and then had a wonderful flight all the way to Rome, only to refuel tho, not to get to deboard to see any of Rome.
They fed us 3 fabulous airplane meals (note the sarcasm). Oh, right, and my suitcase didn't fit the not-deep-enough compartments (the guy was right, so I let them take it to Addis, they wouldn't check it all the way to
Congo for me, so I told them I'd try and pick it up in Addis). I tried to sleep on the plane but my neck doesn't do well sitting while I'm sleeping, so I dozed, watched movies, read the rest of Jeremiah
(the book of the Bible I've been plugging through), and read some of Derek Prince's book on rejection. So I got to watch "No Reservations" (which I highly recommend) and "Gracie" (if you like soccer
I guess you'll like it okay but if you're an actor who watches movies for acting, don't watch it). I listened to music (altho my ipod nor my MP3/radio didn't work) on the plane and enjoyed talking to a nice Malawi guy and his sis-in-law.
For some reason my sister didn't sit in her spot (there was a couple already taking it up) so we couldn't sit together b/c she enjoyed her leg room up front the flight attendant gave her. When I couldn't sleep, it was also
because there was a group of choir boys going to Rwanda, and they were livin it up enjoyin too much caffeine and sugar. Their harmony was okay, but they were amusing.
In Ethiopia we tried locating my bag but were almost late boarding our plane to Congo, so we had to give up, telling the nice lady my bag wasn't there and we needed it. She said she found it (once we boarded it) and not to worry.
From Ethiopia to Congo I tried sleeping but really couldn't - it's that point of exhaustion that you're even too tired to sleep (which is hard to understand unless you've been there).
Once we arrived in Congo we waited and waited for our luggage, but decided to give up on the lost bag. I almost fell asleep in the car, even though I was excited to experience ALL of Congo, and cried when I saw my mama coming out of her house, having driven through
The American School of Kinshasa (TASOK). We started sat down with water and oranges to refuel and enjoy the Christmas tree with family.
Then a nearby Chinese American missionary friend showed up so us girls went for a cool dip in the school pool. After swimming we came home to what we were all really waiting for, good ol home cooked food, Mama's fresh salsa, chicken, rice, veggies - YUM!
After dinner we watched Evangeline's Gordon College chapel video (of her singing on worship team), but I started to get sleepy, so I started unpacking (the luggage I did bring), then went off to bed.
I'll be sharing baby sister Sarah's room, and we woke to both share a hilarious story of both of us talking in our sleep (I'm not used to being told that I talk in my sleep but that is funny!).
This morning we had homemade wheat Cinnamon rolls and oatmeal! Then we got to experience the Int'l. Protestant Church of Kinshasa (IPCK). Driving all around Kinshasa is so interesting - to see and learn the bad roads, scary old cars driving horribly fast and in your way, but also observing the different economic classes, and people-watching different levels....!
The choir did 2 excellent Handel's Messiah selections, and we sang Christmas hymns, and a missionary man spoke, sharing the Paul Harvey Christmas story (the birds teaching this guy the Gospel!). When church was over, we had a wonderful lunch at a sweet missionary couples' home, and then went to a Christmas party at a family's house - they work for the Embassy!
Enjoying a long rollicking game of RHYTHM (which my mom ROCKS at btw)!, we are home now listening to Christmas music and playing with kittens.
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris
Friday, December 28, 2007
My Xmas E-card
Since I can't send Christmas cards (and didn't get them out this year) from Congo, I wanted you to see my Xmas Email:
Dear Family and Friends,
I wanted you to see this article Reliv will feature in an upcoming issue. I am not bragging, I am not thinking Reliv is the end all, but just sharing that I am more than grateful for what God has brought to me through the gift of my sister Elisabeth and the gift of Reliv. During a rough 2007, God brought the gift of a changed life - not only my physical needs being met, but He has been there every step of the way, more than faithful to "supply all my needs" through the riches of His amazing Grace!
I hope you have a blessed Christmas and that you can truly "taste and see the Lord is good" in 2008 and always,
Christiana
"Christiana Kergosien of Nashville, TN has undergone a remarkable turnaround with Reliv's Slimplicity. 'Three years ago, I was introduced to Reliv by my sister, a Master Affiliate,' says Christiana. 'I saw the difference in her, and in my first month on the product my chronic allergy cough disappeared, at the height of the fall allergy season!
'After 7 mos. on the product, I saw improvements in all sorts of female problems- hormonal imbalance, cysts, and so on. I was under a lot of stress at the time and began to develop an emotionally-related eating disorder - I had had weight issues since college. Since I started Simplicity in February, I lost the first 5 lbs in the first 3 weeks and over 8 mos., I lost 42 lbs, 12 in., and I'm down from a size 16 to a size 6! It was just amazing!
'I feel like a 100% different person!,' says Christiana. 'My self-confidence is high and my anxiety and depression have gone. I feel younger, healthier, and more vibrant than I ever have. I'm running faster and longer - two to three miles every day- not bad for someone who was an emotional couch potato - and my food cravings have disappeared.
'I'm off to Africa for 6 mos. for missions work for my church, and I have no concerns about West Nile, malaria, or other potential health issues there because I am in such vibrant health, thanks to Slimplicity and Reliv. I'm a different person and I love it!'"
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris
Dear Family and Friends,
I wanted you to see this article Reliv will feature in an upcoming issue. I am not bragging, I am not thinking Reliv is the end all, but just sharing that I am more than grateful for what God has brought to me through the gift of my sister Elisabeth and the gift of Reliv. During a rough 2007, God brought the gift of a changed life - not only my physical needs being met, but He has been there every step of the way, more than faithful to "supply all my needs" through the riches of His amazing Grace!
I hope you have a blessed Christmas and that you can truly "taste and see the Lord is good" in 2008 and always,
Christiana
"Christiana Kergosien of Nashville, TN has undergone a remarkable turnaround with Reliv's Slimplicity. 'Three years ago, I was introduced to Reliv by my sister, a Master Affiliate,' says Christiana. 'I saw the difference in her, and in my first month on the product my chronic allergy cough disappeared, at the height of the fall allergy season!
'After 7 mos. on the product, I saw improvements in all sorts of female problems- hormonal imbalance, cysts, and so on. I was under a lot of stress at the time and began to develop an emotionally-related eating disorder - I had had weight issues since college. Since I started Simplicity in February, I lost the first 5 lbs in the first 3 weeks and over 8 mos., I lost 42 lbs, 12 in., and I'm down from a size 16 to a size 6! It was just amazing!
'I feel like a 100% different person!,' says Christiana. 'My self-confidence is high and my anxiety and depression have gone. I feel younger, healthier, and more vibrant than I ever have. I'm running faster and longer - two to three miles every day- not bad for someone who was an emotional couch potato - and my food cravings have disappeared.
'I'm off to Africa for 6 mos. for missions work for my church, and I have no concerns about West Nile, malaria, or other potential health issues there because I am in such vibrant health, thanks to Slimplicity and Reliv. I'm a different person and I love it!'"
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris
Alone vs. Loneliness
I used to hate being alone. I almost had a fear of it. I knew that when I was alone, I'd think inwardly, look at how pitiful my past was, and focus on negative self feedback, beating myself up in my own wallowing self-pity party. Through Counseling, Reliv, and just learning to love being alone WITH GOD, He has totally changed all that and is teaching me to love being with Him. If I'm alone, I'm truly not, b/c I'm in communication or in communion with His Spirit. If I have my Bible with me, even better.
The problem is; all my friends knew that I used to hate being alone and was constantly energized by being around lots of people. I was my mama's social butterfly (out of 8 children), I kept her calendar, and thought I'd make a great "Social Activities"/Event planner, party animal, secretary, and the like. I was pretty proud of myself and my way of communicating (which pretty much sucks in and of itself, but we're not hear beating me up; I'm learning that it's not all about me anyway). I enjoyed harmless flirting, but I was scared that it was dangerous and afraid of the wrong intentions or "fatal attraction" etc.! Now I see that I "escaped" to be with friends just to cover up my feelings at home or by myself or my dark lonely times.
So back to that "problem" - my poor friends have seen me disappear, have seen me put on Harry Potter's invisibility cloak and not known what's going on, only b/c I was trying to be respectful of privacy. Who wants to read about personal details? So they are led to believe rumors, lies, or their own opinion of what has gone on in my life this summer/fall/winter. I'm not blaming you, I just am learning "who my true friends are." My friend reminded me what Aslan told Edmond's siblings: "WHAT'S DONE IS DONE"!
I am more than excited to go to Congo and get some real family time. Bonding with my parents all over again, learning to truly love my younger siblings, and getting my hands dirty (in the humidity and bugs) in missions work is going to teach me a lot. It's an exciting journey that God is bringing me through!!!!
I think that will teach me what alone time is all about (far away from all my friends, my stateside life, American way of life, etc.), and who I really am.
My grandmother (Elisabeth Elliot) used to say, "It doesn't matter who you are, it matters WHOSE you are." I am confident that I walk under the Shadow of His wing, not just some random robot or freak of nature. I am perfect in Him, but we just can't see it yet. I need to be myself and have my family love on me (while I go through a healing process) but I also need to be reminded of who I really am in Christ.
My past is just as dark and ugly as the next guy behind bars; who am I to judge, throw stones? I am no better except through the cross of Christ, my friends! How encouraging is that?!
thnx for your prayers and for "listening."
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris
The problem is; all my friends knew that I used to hate being alone and was constantly energized by being around lots of people. I was my mama's social butterfly (out of 8 children), I kept her calendar, and thought I'd make a great "Social Activities"/Event planner, party animal, secretary, and the like. I was pretty proud of myself and my way of communicating (which pretty much sucks in and of itself, but we're not hear beating me up; I'm learning that it's not all about me anyway). I enjoyed harmless flirting, but I was scared that it was dangerous and afraid of the wrong intentions or "fatal attraction" etc.! Now I see that I "escaped" to be with friends just to cover up my feelings at home or by myself or my dark lonely times.
So back to that "problem" - my poor friends have seen me disappear, have seen me put on Harry Potter's invisibility cloak and not known what's going on, only b/c I was trying to be respectful of privacy. Who wants to read about personal details? So they are led to believe rumors, lies, or their own opinion of what has gone on in my life this summer/fall/winter. I'm not blaming you, I just am learning "who my true friends are." My friend reminded me what Aslan told Edmond's siblings: "WHAT'S DONE IS DONE"!
I am more than excited to go to Congo and get some real family time. Bonding with my parents all over again, learning to truly love my younger siblings, and getting my hands dirty (in the humidity and bugs) in missions work is going to teach me a lot. It's an exciting journey that God is bringing me through!!!!
I think that will teach me what alone time is all about (far away from all my friends, my stateside life, American way of life, etc.), and who I really am.
My grandmother (Elisabeth Elliot) used to say, "It doesn't matter who you are, it matters WHOSE you are." I am confident that I walk under the Shadow of His wing, not just some random robot or freak of nature. I am perfect in Him, but we just can't see it yet. I need to be myself and have my family love on me (while I go through a healing process) but I also need to be reminded of who I really am in Christ.
My past is just as dark and ugly as the next guy behind bars; who am I to judge, throw stones? I am no better except through the cross of Christ, my friends! How encouraging is that?!
thnx for your prayers and for "listening."
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris
What We're Saved From
My uncle and I discussed the realness of people at his home church (the one I've been attending lately). wochurch.org When I say Realness I mean reality, genuine authenticity, and sincerity, such as when I stumbled across this blog noefool.com and found the thoughts on a sermon re: authenticity. I have found such "Real" people through my company Reliv, and in certain churches or through friends and family, but sadly, these REAL people are becoming few and far between, harder to find. It's so cool the way these people (at my uncle's church) worship - real, unashamed, unabashed, but not necessarily "holy rollers" or showy craziness either. And everywhere you go in that church I find true joy in their lives and on their faces. It's not a masked brief smile or a quick "how are you" it's a meaningful contented peace, a true and lasting joy. My uncle and I realized it's because they have seen grace, they actually KNOW and realize what they're saved FROM, and so therefore they are real and they aren't judging you/us. Course we all judge and I will find people like that anywhere too, but I just wanted you to know the difference. Now I've seen what I've been saved from, where I come from and the grace that's available. That is what's so amazing about grace.
The cross is big enough, folks. That's what astounds me. I pray that I can be real, full of joy and hope, during dark times, during the Christmas season, or any time. So I can share with others (in the Congo too) what He's done for me.
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris
The cross is big enough, folks. That's what astounds me. I pray that I can be real, full of joy and hope, during dark times, during the Christmas season, or any time. So I can share with others (in the Congo too) what He's done for me.
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris
Wait Passionately
In two places E.P.'s The Message has "wait passionately." As an impatient person I'm trying to figure out how to apply that to my life. Ps. 37:34 has it. I guess I was confused, thinking I needed to "wait, rest in God" quietly (which I still need to do but haven't mastered it yet, part of the Sanctification process), but I guess it has something to do with the deer panting perhaps? If an animal is thirsty, they wait till they can locate their watering hole I suppose. But they don't just sit there and wait, they actually try and do something about it. If I'm thirsty, I buy a bottle of water or go get myself a drink from the fridge/sink etc. Sometimes I have to sit and wait for something bigger to happen (money to buy the bottle of water? Cups and glasses to be washed? Filter to fill the pitcher with clean water?) But until then, I pant and get chapped lips, and feel cotton mouthed. So I must do something about it. My dad taught me to get others a drink first before you fill your own (don't always do it, mind you, just a good practice to remember). I think I remember Sheldon Vanauken's "A Severe Mercy" speaking of when he and his wife would get up in the middle of night for each other, bringing "a cup of cold water in the dark." That in and of itself is sheer sacrifice!
Dr. Paul Kooistra shares this sweet story:
"Dr. Robertson McQuilkin, retired president of Col. Int'l Univ. and elder statesman in the evangelical world, was gracious enough to agree to meet with me [and his wife Jan]...Finally he said to us, 'I'd like for you to meet my wife, Muriel.'
We were aware that Mrs. McQuilkin suffered from Alzheimer's Disease, and knew that her husband had retired in order to devote full time to her care. I felt awkward, but Jan, a skilled geriatric nurse, gently took her hand and kissed her cheek softly. The old lady's eyes brightened as she began to pat Jan's hand.
'The last words she was ever able to say were, 'I love you,'' Dr. McQuilkin said. He related how, after her memory began to fade, she would spend her days strolling down the driveway that led from their home to his office. 'I came to tell you that I love you,' she would say. Her husband would spend a few minutes with her before a student assistant would gently take her elbow to guide her home, but in less than an hour she would appear again. 'I want to remind you that I love you.'
Gradually forgetting her routines, her recipes, her friends, even her own name, she yet remembered the love of her life. Some powerful inner compass drew her to him a dozen times a day. As strength faded, love grew. At night as her husband removed her shoes, he would find her socks adhered to her feet, glued by the blood from scratches and blisters she hadn't noticed as she shuffled back and forth, back and forth, over to the path to the one she loved. The sight of that blood pricked his heart. He knew it was time to let go of his own agenda to care for her. Her welfare became his passion.
Here I was witnessing love that met her most quiet needs, visible to no eye but God's- love that permeated every corner of that home. Love massaged lotion into bleeding feet, comforted fears at midnight, and wearily spooned pureed food into a hungry mouth with tenderness and dignity- asking no thanks, expecting no fanfare.
The palpable presence of Christ in that home impacted me more than all the lectures and theories on missions that humble man could ever have spoken. As he related the story, he spoke mildly with no trace of bitterness of disappointment.
'It was the sight of her blood that changed everything.'
The Son of God showed His love with His blood- the blood He shed on the cross for you and me. It is the blood that changes everything."
That's what we all want, someone to grow old with us to love and care for us always, or what we all want for our grandparents. But we already have it - we can only find it, true pure love in Jesus Christ.
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris
Dr. Paul Kooistra shares this sweet story:
"Dr. Robertson McQuilkin, retired president of Col. Int'l Univ. and elder statesman in the evangelical world, was gracious enough to agree to meet with me [and his wife Jan]...Finally he said to us, 'I'd like for you to meet my wife, Muriel.'
We were aware that Mrs. McQuilkin suffered from Alzheimer's Disease, and knew that her husband had retired in order to devote full time to her care. I felt awkward, but Jan, a skilled geriatric nurse, gently took her hand and kissed her cheek softly. The old lady's eyes brightened as she began to pat Jan's hand.
'The last words she was ever able to say were, 'I love you,'' Dr. McQuilkin said. He related how, after her memory began to fade, she would spend her days strolling down the driveway that led from their home to his office. 'I came to tell you that I love you,' she would say. Her husband would spend a few minutes with her before a student assistant would gently take her elbow to guide her home, but in less than an hour she would appear again. 'I want to remind you that I love you.'
Gradually forgetting her routines, her recipes, her friends, even her own name, she yet remembered the love of her life. Some powerful inner compass drew her to him a dozen times a day. As strength faded, love grew. At night as her husband removed her shoes, he would find her socks adhered to her feet, glued by the blood from scratches and blisters she hadn't noticed as she shuffled back and forth, back and forth, over to the path to the one she loved. The sight of that blood pricked his heart. He knew it was time to let go of his own agenda to care for her. Her welfare became his passion.
Here I was witnessing love that met her most quiet needs, visible to no eye but God's- love that permeated every corner of that home. Love massaged lotion into bleeding feet, comforted fears at midnight, and wearily spooned pureed food into a hungry mouth with tenderness and dignity- asking no thanks, expecting no fanfare.
The palpable presence of Christ in that home impacted me more than all the lectures and theories on missions that humble man could ever have spoken. As he related the story, he spoke mildly with no trace of bitterness of disappointment.
'It was the sight of her blood that changed everything.'
The Son of God showed His love with His blood- the blood He shed on the cross for you and me. It is the blood that changes everything."
That's what we all want, someone to grow old with us to love and care for us always, or what we all want for our grandparents. But we already have it - we can only find it, true pure love in Jesus Christ.
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris
Justification AND Sanctification
I've been wanting to blog for some time but I can't seem to access my xanga or myspace, so I will keep blogging here. I just want to be respectful, and conversationalist, so if I bother you here, lemme know, go ahead and comment or msg me. This is not an essay or sermon, it's simply my mind's ramblings.
No one might care to know that much about what I think (or my understanding of) Justification and Sanctification but I just want to blog about it for the time being while it's fresh on my mind. Thanksgiving took me to my sister's in Chicago which took me to her church, Wheaton College Church. Doug Moo taught an excellent SS class in which I experienced an ephiphany.
First of all, no doubt about it, we all feel or think or believe differently about Justification and Sanctification, and that's ok. But as long as I realize (for my own personal sanity, or IMHO) that what's important is BOTH AND (in Theatre we might say, "Yes, and..." if you know true Improv), NOT either-or. A lot of people forget Sanctification or throw it out the window. They might ignore it, they might embrace it, and forget Justification. But I'm not trying to sound Calvinistic Presbyterian, here, I just want to understand the Bible. I think the Bible clearly outlines BOTH. This is not a choice, an either-or. You know those ANNOYING voices now that tell you on the phone, "I'm sorry, I did not understand you." I think I've heard one that says, "I'm sorry, that was not one of the options." Well, justification OR sanctification, to Mr. Moo, is not an option.
OK, whew, we're onto a good start. Just how can you focus too much on one and not the other? Well, by all means, a Pauline disciple would probably note the pure "just shall live by faith" etc., justification through Christ's imputed Righteousness (or, ok if you don't like that, we are justified, have been justified, were once justified, whichever, by Christ's work on the cross, etc.) ok, still with me?
Whereas James (and it turns out other Pauline passages) talks a lot about WORKS, DOERS, that sort of fun thing.
Sanctification can either be a PROCESS to some (to me it is) or it's either a one time, "WOW, holy moly, you've already been, ding, check, you are sanctified, you already were once upon a time when you accepted Christ." If you believe that way, that's fine, I just want to throw it out there for you. Personally I enjoy analogies, as in, "Shadowlands" when Joy teaches Jack about processes and the like. Marriage (a picture of our relationship to Christ) is a process, she is trying to tell him. Life is. So there.
Once upon a time, I grew up in a Christian household, call it conservative (some say sheltered or overprotected), but it was a Pastor's family, grandchild of missionaries (on both sides). I fell in love with Church! I know, sounds odd, but I did, at a young age. I was so active and involved, that I was in love with my church family and grew to love going as often as possible (usually only 2 maybe 3 times a week), and looked forward to Sundays (our Sabbath). I think somewhere along the line (I knew better in my head, but my heart didn't understand) I started a really great Christian life, working out my salvation, with lots of fear and plenty of trembling. In high school my world collapsed, leaving one church, then going through a painful church split, then in collage, I fell into depression. I don't enjoy talking about it, because I don't want to "go back into Egypt" and get back the feeling of darkness and oppression, and I want to protect people and other personal issues) who/which don't need to be mentioned who may have been involved. Counseling helped but I'm not blaming anyone or anything other than "the fear of man." I worked so hard at my faith and becoming the Proverbs 31 woman, that I had myself on this high pedastal and really thought I had it all, I had the training, the head knowledge, I knew all I was supposed to do, and yet, why was I so unhappy? Ok, work on contentedness, I thought.
The problem is, I was sooo focused on sanctification that I may have forgotten the most important part (again, I KNEW it but it just didn't register - for years, sadly). So I became a 100%, bona fide people pleaser, pushover, eager to please, compliant person. Anything that would make YOU happy, I'd do it.
HELLO! Red flag!! I should be making Jesus happy but I think I was just hurting Him more by making idols out of my life, my school, my church, my work/business/career/jobs, marriage, family, etc. everything... Everything but Him. He had to wake me up, slap me upside the head (while I was kicking and screaming) by taking E V E R Y T H I N G far away so that I could finally realize that it's all (and I mean A L L) about
G
R
A
C
E.
I have drawn closer to God than ever before. At first I thought I was already close to God (gasp, gulp!) - I was praying, doing everything right, going to church, trying counselors, trying to make everyone else around me happy, yet still an emotional basket case. So then, what did I do? I fell head first into a deep dark slimy pit. Sure, maybe someone pushed me or pulled me into theirs, but I also jumped headfirst into one too. WRONG. Totally NOT the right way to "do" anything.
Face it. I thought I was pretty righteous. I would pray against pride and self-righteousness, but really what is righteousness all about?
RIGHT RELATEDNESS. Yeah, hello. having a RIGHT relationship with the One Righteous Person who already made it possible. My judge and my Savior in the Same Person! My Father, Redeemer, Lord and Master, who is teaching me all about Leading and Serving. The One of Great Paradoxes that make my head spin with disbelief (Lord, help my unbelief). His mercy covers all!!!
Who would NOT want to accept the Grace offered?!!
Only a blind man. "An unspiritual man doesn't understand spiritual things." - That's what breaks my heart: when those I love and care about don't see His faithfulness, complain because they weren't blessed with enough gifts, when the biggest greatest gift of all is staring us in the face: G R A C E. Because now I've seen it, first hand. See, my testimony isn't that great, it was all happy, warm and fuzzy in the beginning, I've always known Jesus. But to really see and feel, know and touch, remember and try to understand, grasping Grace, is a totally different thing!
Bringin' it back. Focus - ah yes, J&S. OK, now that I know I'm justified, and now that I know I will be clay (all part of the process) until I die, how could I forget either of them? Well, that's just it. Some of us think, "Well, we don't need/want a rulebook; those Christians don't seem to be having much fun, so if I say I believe then I'm justified and I can live comfortably without having to change anything." Or, sadly, we compartmentalize so much that Christ has no way of taking up a sincere residence in our homes, our hearts, our lives. Then we'd see fruit, then we'd know we are gifted with His fruits, and we'd live like a joyful adopted child, not a wretched orphan! Why do we still act spoiled or blind? Because Satan knows EXACTLY where to attack, hit, hurt, wound all our vulnerabilities. It's so much easier living with just focusing on one of them. It's easy to live justified, not having to concern ourselves with sanctification. But that is a contradiction! Paul says very boldly, Well then, should we go and sin all the more?
A resounding NO, he shouts back.
Ok then. It's easy to work and do all we can to save ourselves, and forget about the other. We'll get to heaven faster if we work ourselves to the dust. Well, sorry folks, but that is the other side of the coin- another contradiction, that I was living. I probably will still fight it, I know I will fight against the fear of man, and I know I don't have it all figured out, and I still struggle with praying "enough." hint: if you ever feel like you've prayed enough, pray some more. It'll do ya good, I promise. If you feel like you already went to church or tried talking to the Pastor, go again. If you feel like church is full of hypocrites, well guess what, the world is too, and we're all in need of grace...
We're all in need of the Cross. There is more to life than this. Heaven is not a long 24hr church service, it's going to be so unfathomably cool that none of us can grasp just how awesome it really is going to be. To finally be 100% sanctified will be awesome, I know that much! Not to have to worry all the time about anything!! (I know, see, now, I don't need to (I shouldn't), but I still do). We're all recovering Pharisees, just our own version of religion (even people that say they're non-religious, has their own belief system and tolerance has become a form of religion).
I just want to shout,
IF YOU KNEW MY SAVIOR YOU'D WANT SOME TOO!
:-)
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris
No one might care to know that much about what I think (or my understanding of) Justification and Sanctification but I just want to blog about it for the time being while it's fresh on my mind. Thanksgiving took me to my sister's in Chicago which took me to her church, Wheaton College Church. Doug Moo taught an excellent SS class in which I experienced an ephiphany.
First of all, no doubt about it, we all feel or think or believe differently about Justification and Sanctification, and that's ok. But as long as I realize (for my own personal sanity, or IMHO) that what's important is BOTH AND (in Theatre we might say, "Yes, and..." if you know true Improv), NOT either-or. A lot of people forget Sanctification or throw it out the window. They might ignore it, they might embrace it, and forget Justification. But I'm not trying to sound Calvinistic Presbyterian, here, I just want to understand the Bible. I think the Bible clearly outlines BOTH. This is not a choice, an either-or. You know those ANNOYING voices now that tell you on the phone, "I'm sorry, I did not understand you." I think I've heard one that says, "I'm sorry, that was not one of the options." Well, justification OR sanctification, to Mr. Moo, is not an option.
OK, whew, we're onto a good start. Just how can you focus too much on one and not the other? Well, by all means, a Pauline disciple would probably note the pure "just shall live by faith" etc., justification through Christ's imputed Righteousness (or, ok if you don't like that, we are justified, have been justified, were once justified, whichever, by Christ's work on the cross, etc.) ok, still with me?
Whereas James (and it turns out other Pauline passages) talks a lot about WORKS, DOERS, that sort of fun thing.
Sanctification can either be a PROCESS to some (to me it is) or it's either a one time, "WOW, holy moly, you've already been, ding, check, you are sanctified, you already were once upon a time when you accepted Christ." If you believe that way, that's fine, I just want to throw it out there for you. Personally I enjoy analogies, as in, "Shadowlands" when Joy teaches Jack about processes and the like. Marriage (a picture of our relationship to Christ) is a process, she is trying to tell him. Life is. So there.
Once upon a time, I grew up in a Christian household, call it conservative (some say sheltered or overprotected), but it was a Pastor's family, grandchild of missionaries (on both sides). I fell in love with Church! I know, sounds odd, but I did, at a young age. I was so active and involved, that I was in love with my church family and grew to love going as often as possible (usually only 2 maybe 3 times a week), and looked forward to Sundays (our Sabbath). I think somewhere along the line (I knew better in my head, but my heart didn't understand) I started a really great Christian life, working out my salvation, with lots of fear and plenty of trembling. In high school my world collapsed, leaving one church, then going through a painful church split, then in collage, I fell into depression. I don't enjoy talking about it, because I don't want to "go back into Egypt" and get back the feeling of darkness and oppression, and I want to protect people and other personal issues) who/which don't need to be mentioned who may have been involved. Counseling helped but I'm not blaming anyone or anything other than "the fear of man." I worked so hard at my faith and becoming the Proverbs 31 woman, that I had myself on this high pedastal and really thought I had it all, I had the training, the head knowledge, I knew all I was supposed to do, and yet, why was I so unhappy? Ok, work on contentedness, I thought.
The problem is, I was sooo focused on sanctification that I may have forgotten the most important part (again, I KNEW it but it just didn't register - for years, sadly). So I became a 100%, bona fide people pleaser, pushover, eager to please, compliant person. Anything that would make YOU happy, I'd do it.
HELLO! Red flag!! I should be making Jesus happy but I think I was just hurting Him more by making idols out of my life, my school, my church, my work/business/career/jobs,
G
R
A
C
E.
I have drawn closer to God than ever before. At first I thought I was already close to God (gasp, gulp!) - I was praying, doing everything right, going to church, trying counselors, trying to make everyone else around me happy, yet still an emotional basket case. So then, what did I do? I fell head first into a deep dark slimy pit. Sure, maybe someone pushed me or pulled me into theirs, but I also jumped headfirst into one too. WRONG. Totally NOT the right way to "do" anything.
Face it. I thought I was pretty righteous. I would pray against pride and self-righteousness, but really what is righteousness all about?
RIGHT RELATEDNESS. Yeah, hello. having a RIGHT relationship with the One Righteous Person who already made it possible. My judge and my Savior in the Same Person! My Father, Redeemer, Lord and Master, who is teaching me all about Leading and Serving. The One of Great Paradoxes that make my head spin with disbelief (Lord, help my unbelief). His mercy covers all!!!
Who would NOT want to accept the Grace offered?!!
Only a blind man. "An unspiritual man doesn't understand spiritual things." - That's what breaks my heart: when those I love and care about don't see His faithfulness, complain because they weren't blessed with enough gifts, when the biggest greatest gift of all is staring us in the face: G R A C E. Because now I've seen it, first hand. See, my testimony isn't that great, it was all happy, warm and fuzzy in the beginning, I've always known Jesus. But to really see and feel, know and touch, remember and try to understand, grasping Grace, is a totally different thing!
Bringin' it back. Focus - ah yes, J&S. OK, now that I know I'm justified, and now that I know I will be clay (all part of the process) until I die, how could I forget either of them? Well, that's just it. Some of us think, "Well, we don't need/want a rulebook; those Christians don't seem to be having much fun, so if I say I believe then I'm justified and I can live comfortably without having to change anything." Or, sadly, we compartmentalize so much that Christ has no way of taking up a sincere residence in our homes, our hearts, our lives. Then we'd see fruit, then we'd know we are gifted with His fruits, and we'd live like a joyful adopted child, not a wretched orphan! Why do we still act spoiled or blind? Because Satan knows EXACTLY where to attack, hit, hurt, wound all our vulnerabilities. It's so much easier living with just focusing on one of them. It's easy to live justified, not having to concern ourselves with sanctification. But that is a contradiction! Paul says very boldly, Well then, should we go and sin all the more?
A resounding NO, he shouts back.
Ok then. It's easy to work and do all we can to save ourselves, and forget about the other. We'll get to heaven faster if we work ourselves to the dust. Well, sorry folks, but that is the other side of the coin- another contradiction, that I was living. I probably will still fight it, I know I will fight against the fear of man, and I know I don't have it all figured out, and I still struggle with praying "enough." hint: if you ever feel like you've prayed enough, pray some more. It'll do ya good, I promise. If you feel like you already went to church or tried talking to the Pastor, go again. If you feel like church is full of hypocrites, well guess what, the world is too, and we're all in need of grace...
We're all in need of the Cross. There is more to life than this. Heaven is not a long 24hr church service, it's going to be so unfathomably cool that none of us can grasp just how awesome it really is going to be. To finally be 100% sanctified will be awesome, I know that much! Not to have to worry all the time about anything!! (I know, see, now, I don't need to (I shouldn't), but I still do). We're all recovering Pharisees, just our own version of religion (even people that say they're non-religious, has their own belief system and tolerance has become a form of religion).
I just want to shout,
IF YOU KNEW MY SAVIOR YOU'D WANT SOME TOO!
:-)
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris
What I'm learning
My dad's friend (a Katrina hero down south, where he has helped lots of people on the coast) gave us all copies of helpful booklets, one being a devo called "The 31 Days of Grace." Today's (Day 2) reading quotes an awesome word from "The Valley of Vision." It just so happens that lately God has blessed me each day with the exact word I so needed at that time. For a while I heard of people having that experience, but I didn't get a chance to really feel that or get it until the last couple months. It's incredible, so I'm really grateful for an encouraging word when it really totally hits the spot you know?
"To enrich me will not diminish thy fullness;
All they lovingkindness is in they Son,
I bring him to thee in the arms of faith,
I urge his saving name as the one who died for me,
I plead his blood to pay my debts of wrong,
Accept his wrothiness for my unworthiness,
his sinlessness for my transgression,
his purity for my uncleanness,
his sincereity for my guile,
his truth for my deceits,
his meekness for my pride,
his constancy for my backslidings,
his love for my enmity,
his fullness for my emptiness,
his faithfulness for my treachery,
his obedience for my lawlessness,
his glory for my shame,
his devotedness for my waywardness,
his holy life for my unchaste ways,
his righteousness for my dead works,
his death for my life." tVoV p.157
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris
"To enrich me will not diminish thy fullness;
All they lovingkindness is in they Son,
I bring him to thee in the arms of faith,
I urge his saving name as the one who died for me,
I plead his blood to pay my debts of wrong,
Accept his wrothiness for my unworthiness,
his sinlessness for my transgression,
his purity for my uncleanness,
his sincereity for my guile,
his truth for my deceits,
his meekness for my pride,
his constancy for my backslidings,
his love for my enmity,
his fullness for my emptiness,
his faithfulness for my treachery,
his obedience for my lawlessness,
his glory for my shame,
his devotedness for my waywardness,
his holy life for my unchaste ways,
his righteousness for my dead works,
his death for my life." tVoV p.157
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
TIAB
I can't believe it's happening.
My life has changed drastically in the last year. God has led me through a lot, and I can't wait to see what's going to happen next.
Why did I title this "TIAB"? It stands for "This is Africa, Baby." I'm so excited, I get to go spend 6mos. in the Congo, Africa!!! At first I thought, "Me? No way, not the humidity and the bugs!" but who cares, I'm going.
It'll be "Christmas in the Congo"!!!! YAY!!!!
I have everything set and ready to go. God is so good, so faithful. I wish everyone could see how great HE is!!!
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris
My life has changed drastically in the last year. God has led me through a lot, and I can't wait to see what's going to happen next.
Why did I title this "TIAB"? It stands for "This is Africa, Baby." I'm so excited, I get to go spend 6mos. in the Congo, Africa!!! At first I thought, "Me? No way, not the humidity and the bugs!" but who cares, I'm going.
It'll be "Christmas in the Congo"!!!! YAY!!!!
I have everything set and ready to go. God is so good, so faithful. I wish everyone could see how great HE is!!!
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris
Thursday, August 23, 2007
confused.
I'm resting in the Lord.
What does it all mean? Wow, I know it means He's faithful. He's answered two prayers real quick back to back. It's amazing what our God can do. He is bigger than all my problems, issues, and worries. He knows what He's doing. His sovereign rule should never, ever be questioned.
I have lots of dreams and wants and wishes still. Is it too much - to expect even more greater things from Him?
He knows the desires of my heart, and He knows how my heart is hurting, bruised, tired and worn out. "He heals the brokenhearted, the heartbroken and bandages their wounds..." He understands, because He's been through a lot worse.
I want to glorify Him in all I think, say & do. Right now I only answer to Him, my Savior & Redeemer.
Confused? Yeah I'm still confused as to what He wants me to do or how or which way He wants me to go. He knows the dreams & plans He has for me. I'm confused as to why I can't get into my xanga (silly I know) and confused how to add friends' profiles on here. LOL I know it's not that important. I spend more time on facebook, then myspace, then xanga, then this. in that order.
My dog's eye might have to be removed. I've given it to the Lord and He will provide. My dog might look like a pirate but oh well:)
To leave you with my friend's happy thought: "puppies frolicking in a field of daisies under a clouded blue sky" she's sooo funny:)
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris
What does it all mean? Wow, I know it means He's faithful. He's answered two prayers real quick back to back. It's amazing what our God can do. He is bigger than all my problems, issues, and worries. He knows what He's doing. His sovereign rule should never, ever be questioned.
I have lots of dreams and wants and wishes still. Is it too much - to expect even more greater things from Him?
He knows the desires of my heart, and He knows how my heart is hurting, bruised, tired and worn out. "He heals the brokenhearted, the heartbroken and bandages their wounds..." He understands, because He's been through a lot worse.
I want to glorify Him in all I think, say & do. Right now I only answer to Him, my Savior & Redeemer.
Confused? Yeah I'm still confused as to what He wants me to do or how or which way He wants me to go. He knows the dreams & plans He has for me. I'm confused as to why I can't get into my xanga (silly I know) and confused how to add friends' profiles on here. LOL I know it's not that important. I spend more time on facebook, then myspace, then xanga, then this. in that order.
My dog's eye might have to be removed. I've given it to the Lord and He will provide. My dog might look like a pirate but oh well:)
To leave you with my friend's happy thought: "puppies frolicking in a field of daisies under a clouded blue sky" she's sooo funny:)
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Don't lose weight unless you want this...
:) j/k I wanted to catch your eye. rant....So this morning in Shelby park I passed the construction guys working on the new Nature Center. Yeah. I thought for SURE they were snapping pictures. Of their work, each other, and yeah. ME. UGH...Later I realized it was binoculars. I hope. I'd much rather a peeping tom than finding myself (in my athletic garb no less) on the web, unknowingly... UGH guys are dumb!!:)ASK PERMISSION FIRST. and I really don't want that kind of attention, binoculars nor cameras. Yes I'm an actor and I love attention, but the right kind, not the freaky kind.Yes we're all human and even when we don't admit it we love attention. But don't be a psycho! Please don't stare. My mama and sisters get it in the Congo. Being blond in Nashville I guess I get it from guys. Like when I changed my profile photo, spam left and right. Show me some R E S P E C T!:)rant over.
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris
Thursday, July 26, 2007
what? a new bike?
I never dreamed that I'd be this excited over a new bicycle. In the past I was somewhat of a couch potato who emotionally comforted myself with food, instead of getting rid of the feelings of stress through exercise. In middle school I enjoyed my 3 summers of track (long distance) but I think that was because of such great coaches (through Campus Crusade for Christ's Athletes in Action) and friends. I paced myself but I was always in the back.
I even met a new friend (i think) at the bike shop who is looking for more friends to bike with so we can work that out sometime.............
First I sat on this suede (yes, I said suede) comfy seat and I was so relaxed. But then I learned that the tiny seats are better. I got an "expedition" it's like a commuter bike, but still comfy, not necessarily pro-athletic-competitive (I don't need that) but still will help me with the fitness aspect.bikepedlar.com
And I even got treated to lunch at Which Wich -superior sandwiches. OMG that place!! Great milkshakes and the cookies come FRESH and HOT out of the oven!http://www.whichwich.com/
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris
I even met a new friend (i think) at the bike shop who is looking for more friends to bike with so we can work that out sometime.............
First I sat on this suede (yes, I said suede) comfy seat and I was so relaxed. But then I learned that the tiny seats are better. I got an "expedition" it's like a commuter bike, but still comfy, not necessarily pro-athletic-competitive (I don't need that) but still will help me with the fitness aspect.bikepedlar.com
And I even got treated to lunch at Which Wich -superior sandwiches. OMG that place!! Great milkshakes and the cookies come FRESH and HOT out of the oven!http://www.whichwich.com/
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris
Saturday, July 7, 2007
I know this sounds like one of those annoying "I'm so proud of myself, my own accomplishments" blogs...
I can't believe I've lost 25 lbs.! I was so excited when I made it to 5 lbs, then 10, then 15, then 20, now it's 25!!! 6 in. off waist, 5in. off hips. That's GOD's doing, using Reliv's Slimplicity, to change me and work on my heart - now I am more confident and positive! I don't put myself down as much.
I totally want to help people do what I've done!!
I'm so excited about the new play I'm in and the freedom that Reliv gives me to focus on that. I'll keep you updated.
Now if I could only stop apologizing for things I don't need to apologize for, that would be great. :)
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris
I can't believe I've lost 25 lbs.! I was so excited when I made it to 5 lbs, then 10, then 15, then 20, now it's 25!!! 6 in. off waist, 5in. off hips. That's GOD's doing, using Reliv's Slimplicity, to change me and work on my heart - now I am more confident and positive! I don't put myself down as much.
I totally want to help people do what I've done!!
I'm so excited about the new play I'm in and the freedom that Reliv gives me to focus on that. I'll keep you updated.
Now if I could only stop apologizing for things I don't need to apologize for, that would be great. :)
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris
Monday, June 25, 2007
"It's time to bring the Arts back to the Church!"
http://www.actinternational.org/GMA/estes2007/june11/arts.htm
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Memory
How long, Oh Lord, will this thing last? The Psalmist lamented and begged.How long, before it begins? a new group whines and bangs on the piano.How long, before You take her home? I ask my God.How long does my mother have to watch her mother's memory fade? Some people have opinions about what we should and shouldn't remember. The sweetest and truest memories are played out in songs, poems, photographs, and story-telling times (recorded or repeated by mouth). People say, "OH, he has to deal with so much! You don't know how much he is bothered!" Sure, but I watch/read "The Notebook" and other stories like it and I think "WOW. Can a human really love someone that well and that much?" I can only hope.My mother asks for a miracle. I ask for peace. My sister asks for grace and patience. A miracle is not too much to ask of God. My friends apologize and wish they could help. My husband tries to comfort me as I sob and read the pain my mother has to deal with.Her friend Ruth B G just passed. My new friend just lost her father (heart attack). My business-friend just lost her grandmother. My other new business-friend lost a true friend - to cancer. What do you say when someone grieves?How do you comfort someone who is mourning? One week ago was the anniversary of my father's father's death. Someone who remembers, adds a funny tale, trying to keep that smile on. We offer meals and treats, as if to soothe the emptiness. The void, the empty seat, the smile that isn't there.Do I want to grieve that? Are we ready for that? Are we ready to lose the life that brought so much joy and peace? People say, "Ah but remember the good God brought out of it!!" when her first two husbands died. Yes, she led a life of example - showing the world she was doing all she knew to do, to take that step of faith and forgive, live, and eat among the people that killed her love. She then remained a reserved, but then outspoken leader at the same time. Her fans adored her, her critics couldn't take her conviction and conservative nature. So we tossed more books aside or they ordered more. Either way she shrugged and pointed up to her Savior. He did it all, "Glory be to God. I didn't do any of it!" -she'd humbly, quickly reply. Her later years have been filled with quiet submission. What else is there to do? "This is her lot in life. This is where the line falls." She always repeated those verses. My heart would scream, "NO! THAT IS NOT HOW MARRIAGE IS SUPPOSED TO BE!" Except that it was. For her. She was comforted in following her leader, manager, husband; that's all she knew. All she knows. You know what dementia does to people? It makes them recoil, fear, and forget. First, she would get embarrassed and say, "OH yes, of course, you're right. I just forgot, silly me." Then it grew to recoiling from the healing touch of loved ones. Now it's "Who are you and what are you doing here, what am I doing here, why are you here, what is going on" every few moments. It is so frustrating, it makes me anxious the more I dwell on it. We are afraid of what we don't understand.Help us Lord, do we trust You? (Twila sang). Do I trust You, Lord? Do we? Are we ready and willing? OH, that's right - we wouldn't want to expect great things from God and ask too much, looking for a sign or a new wonderful miracle. Well, I'm asking right now. Forget the opinions and confusion. Pass over the anxiety and worry (how would that help?) It's time to ask for more....! We boldly approach the throne of Grace - our God is way bigger than this. He can handle so much more!
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Indifferent Rant Warning
My dearest friend gave me this today: "Most friends will bring ruin upon you, but a true friend is more loyal than a brother."
I really don't mean to be Veggie-Tale cheeseball here, but I truly am thankful for my true friends today. And most of all for that One Friend Who is closer than a brother right now.
I think I get it now. I know why I'm annoying when I apologize so much, and when I admit I'm wrong people go "Oh don't patronize me, don't give me the guilt trip" (when I didn't mean to or didn't mean to come across that way). They don't want to admit they did anything wrong. Why is it sooo uncomfortable for us to admit anything??!!
In Summer Jam (Vacation Bible School at my church/Preston Taylor community west of Nashville) this week, we talked to the kids about the ABC's of becoming a Christian, or, FAITH. First and foremost we have to
A dmit
B elieve
C onfess
Which comes first? Say it again? Repeat. Yes, repeat after me: ADMIT! BELIEVE! CONFESS! And here I am boasting that I admit I'm wrong? Well, way down deep somewhere I believe it's a sign of humility. But, (here I am Laughing Out Loud!) that would be a contradiction right off the bat. I'm not humble, I'm very much in need of GRACE.
Back to the ABC's. The simple basics of faith. Woah, hold on - when was faith basic? When was faith deemed simple? All we need is a tiny mustard seed? Sounds pretty basic + simple to me! Are we all in the rat race just repeating sayings like robots? Noooo.... bear with me here....
But here's where it's not simple. Admitting is not a simple thing to do. Believing is certainly not an easy basic step. And confessing is definitely not comfortable. Sure it's healing, but it's not what we all sign up, run up to the front of the line to do. Somewhere I told myself, along the way, that if I'm first to apologize then "that will keep the peace and we will all get along." So I rush to say "I'm sorry." Then people quickly answer back, "Oh no you don't need to be sorry." me: "But I feel badly for you (that such & such happened)." them: "You don't need to feel bad." So it's a silly cycle and we laugh it off. But deep inside I still feel bad. I still feel guilty, so people tell me, oh it's a lie of Satan that there's still guilt there. Oh! That's right, I didn't pray enough. I didn't go to the Throne of Grace FIRST. Ohhh, right right, "approach the throne BOLDLY!" Alrighty then! So I run back.
As my dad likes to say, we all have to, need to preach the gospel DAILY to ourselves. Run back to the cross, go "back 2 basics" and learn those ABC's again. When friendships grow distant, when marriages fall apart, and relationships are awkward or painful, difficult and unresolved, it truly is the most painful thing. Why do we have to go through this? I'm soooo willing to fix it but they're like "We're wayy past that." Well, my friends, God gave us that craving. Those desires to fix what the Fall broke. That need and hunger for a harmonius relationship. The circle of friendship, the continuous unity that the wedding band symbolizes.
Beth Moore said if Jesus Christ could raise the dead, back to life, then God can raise a dead marriage! (insert: friendship, relationship, etc.) I pray that I as I draw closer to my Heavenly Father, that I become the woman He wants me to be: i.e. the wife, daughter, sister, friend, someday mother, that He designed. That means a light, a witness, that bears His name, and that proudly carries His Word with me. Also, I want to get in your face and scream with tears running down my cheeks, how much I love my Savior, and how I want to not care how your words or deeds have hurt me. Or would you forgive me for whatever I did to lose the friendship. I thought God brought you to me; I thank Him for our fun memories together, and all that we taught each other, but I still want to know why we broke the bond.
I'm not over it. I'm not over you. I want to shout it from the rooftops that God did give me a sense of loyalty, and I will stand by, stick by, and fight for those I love, care about, and pray for. Nope, I won't get tired of you.
Is that so annoying? Irritating? To pop your personal space bubble and embarrass you by being MYSELF? The Tigger that Eeyore and Rabbit really can't stand but can't do without? :) (Like us women say about our men: "(sigh). Boys. You can't live with 'em and you can't live without Him.")
I'm not apologizing here to my dear Catholic friends here, but I'm gonna quote Luther for a second. LOL. Anyway, he said, "Love God?! Sometime I hate Him!"
People have always teased, cautioned and lovingly warned me that I use strong words strongly. As in, "I LOVE French fries!" "I Love my husband!" (Yeah you wanna marry a deep fried potato?) then I say "Ew I HATE that movie!" "I hate what I just heard on the news about _sin_ that just happened"
Well, here I am. He accepts me just as I am. I want you to know He welcomes you, us, in His presence, just as we are. Grace, blood, sweat and tears, they all cover it all.
Wow, pretty staggering isn't it? I'll stop there.:)
I really don't mean to be Veggie-Tale cheeseball here, but I truly am thankful for my true friends today. And most of all for that One Friend Who is closer than a brother right now.
I think I get it now. I know why I'm annoying when I apologize so much, and when I admit I'm wrong people go "Oh don't patronize me, don't give me the guilt trip" (when I didn't mean to or didn't mean to come across that way). They don't want to admit they did anything wrong. Why is it sooo uncomfortable for us to admit anything??!!
In Summer Jam (Vacation Bible School at my church/Preston Taylor community west of Nashville) this week, we talked to the kids about the ABC's of becoming a Christian, or, FAITH. First and foremost we have to
A dmit
B elieve
C onfess
Which comes first? Say it again? Repeat. Yes, repeat after me: ADMIT! BELIEVE! CONFESS! And here I am boasting that I admit I'm wrong? Well, way down deep somewhere I believe it's a sign of humility. But, (here I am Laughing Out Loud!) that would be a contradiction right off the bat. I'm not humble, I'm very much in need of GRACE.
Back to the ABC's. The simple basics of faith. Woah, hold on - when was faith basic? When was faith deemed simple? All we need is a tiny mustard seed? Sounds pretty basic + simple to me! Are we all in the rat race just repeating sayings like robots? Noooo.... bear with me here....
But here's where it's not simple. Admitting is not a simple thing to do. Believing is certainly not an easy basic step. And confessing is definitely not comfortable. Sure it's healing, but it's not what we all sign up, run up to the front of the line to do. Somewhere I told myself, along the way, that if I'm first to apologize then "that will keep the peace and we will all get along." So I rush to say "I'm sorry." Then people quickly answer back, "Oh no you don't need to be sorry." me: "But I feel badly for you (that such & such happened)." them: "You don't need to feel bad." So it's a silly cycle and we laugh it off. But deep inside I still feel bad. I still feel guilty, so people tell me, oh it's a lie of Satan that there's still guilt there. Oh! That's right, I didn't pray enough. I didn't go to the Throne of Grace FIRST. Ohhh, right right, "approach the throne BOLDLY!" Alrighty then! So I run back.
As my dad likes to say, we all have to, need to preach the gospel DAILY to ourselves. Run back to the cross, go "back 2 basics" and learn those ABC's again. When friendships grow distant, when marriages fall apart, and relationships are awkward or painful, difficult and unresolved, it truly is the most painful thing. Why do we have to go through this? I'm soooo willing to fix it but they're like "We're wayy past that." Well, my friends, God gave us that craving. Those desires to fix what the Fall broke. That need and hunger for a harmonius relationship. The circle of friendship, the continuous unity that the wedding band symbolizes.
Beth Moore said if Jesus Christ could raise the dead, back to life, then God can raise a dead marriage! (insert: friendship, relationship, etc.) I pray that I as I draw closer to my Heavenly Father, that I become the woman He wants me to be: i.e. the wife, daughter, sister, friend, someday mother, that He designed. That means a light, a witness, that bears His name, and that proudly carries His Word with me. Also, I want to get in your face and scream with tears running down my cheeks, how much I love my Savior, and how I want to not care how your words or deeds have hurt me. Or would you forgive me for whatever I did to lose the friendship. I thought God brought you to me; I thank Him for our fun memories together, and all that we taught each other, but I still want to know why we broke the bond.
I'm not over it. I'm not over you. I want to shout it from the rooftops that God did give me a sense of loyalty, and I will stand by, stick by, and fight for those I love, care about, and pray for. Nope, I won't get tired of you.
Is that so annoying? Irritating? To pop your personal space bubble and embarrass you by being MYSELF? The Tigger that Eeyore and Rabbit really can't stand but can't do without? :) (Like us women say about our men: "(sigh). Boys. You can't live with 'em and you can't live without Him.")
I'm not apologizing here to my dear Catholic friends here, but I'm gonna quote Luther for a second. LOL. Anyway, he said, "Love God?! Sometime I hate Him!"
People have always teased, cautioned and lovingly warned me that I use strong words strongly. As in, "I LOVE French fries!" "I Love my husband!" (Yeah you wanna marry a deep fried potato?) then I say "Ew I HATE that movie!" "I hate what I just heard on the news about _sin_ that just happened"
Well, here I am. He accepts me just as I am. I want you to know He welcomes you, us, in His presence, just as we are. Grace, blood, sweat and tears, they all cover it all.
Wow, pretty staggering isn't it? I'll stop there.:)
Thursday, June 14, 2007
The Passing of a Beloved Saint
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19210879/I am so glad she's wish Him, seeing His face!
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Aw...
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070614/ap_on_re_us/billy_graham_burial
My middle name Ruth, was named for Ruth Bell Graham, a family friend; not only is she Presbyterian (my dad's side of the family) but she attended Wheaton College at the same time my grandparents (Jim & Elisabeth Elliot) went. I directed the reader's theatre version of her life story, Footprints of a Pilgrim at Trevecca. Wheaton is where two cousins on my dad's side went, it is where I attended a CS Lewis conference and met my good friend Cacie, and it is where my sister, mother (and grandparents mentioned above) went. I've been to Montreat and the Billy Graham Museum at Wheaton, but I haven't been to the museum at Charlotte. Once when I was 8 yo, my grandmother took me to dinner at Ruth's home (near the Cove -where my parents have been-). We drove up the long private driveway (first waiting at the large entrance gate to open) and heard 2 lovely German Shepherds barking like crazy. As we parked and got out, Ruth serenely walked out, cool, calm and collected, with the most gracious, warm, sweet smile on her face, telling the dogs to be quiet. They immediately obeyed her and then we went inside for Chinese takeout. (Ruth spent some of her life as a MK in China and has had a favorite Chinese restaurant near her home for years - she recommends it to people, etc.:)) Their mansion was soooo beautiful, filled with good books, and the warm comforting feeling of HOME. Billy was "on tour" of course, but I remember that day so well... she truly is a beloved "saint of God." Will you join me in prayer for their family? I've heard Franklin and Anne G. Lotz both speak as well. Maybe it is time for her to be with her Savior.
My middle name Ruth, was named for Ruth Bell Graham, a family friend; not only is she Presbyterian (my dad's side of the family) but she attended Wheaton College at the same time my grandparents (Jim & Elisabeth Elliot) went. I directed the reader's theatre version of her life story, Footprints of a Pilgrim at Trevecca. Wheaton is where two cousins on my dad's side went, it is where I attended a CS Lewis conference and met my good friend Cacie, and it is where my sister, mother (and grandparents mentioned above) went. I've been to Montreat and the Billy Graham Museum at Wheaton, but I haven't been to the museum at Charlotte. Once when I was 8 yo, my grandmother took me to dinner at Ruth's home (near the Cove -where my parents have been-). We drove up the long private driveway (first waiting at the large entrance gate to open) and heard 2 lovely German Shepherds barking like crazy. As we parked and got out, Ruth serenely walked out, cool, calm and collected, with the most gracious, warm, sweet smile on her face, telling the dogs to be quiet. They immediately obeyed her and then we went inside for Chinese takeout. (Ruth spent some of her life as a MK in China and has had a favorite Chinese restaurant near her home for years - she recommends it to people, etc.:)) Their mansion was soooo beautiful, filled with good books, and the warm comforting feeling of HOME. Billy was "on tour" of course, but I remember that day so well... she truly is a beloved "saint of God." Will you join me in prayer for their family? I've heard Franklin and Anne G. Lotz both speak as well. Maybe it is time for her to be with her Savior.
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Scribbling
Jesus scribbled. We don't know what He wrote, but we know He showed something in the sand that day to the Pharisees (the Tattlers, the Tattle Talers who wanted to catch Him in their traps of trickery). Lots has been written on this subject...
I've been going through the Gospel according to John, and I came upon this story today. I've always loved this story because it teaches us so much without all the content, yet we still take it out of context. If we really believed we are sinful and Jesus has saved us, would we act the way we do and still judge? Later in that chapter He continues on about judging each other...
My dad would call us all "recovering Pharisees" (and there are books on the subject). Looking back, I remember being a child who was so fearful of getting in trouble, causing trouble, making a ruckus, that I just had to make peace, and was so afraid of upsetting anyone... So what did I do? I'd always cover my tracks, I'd (and I still do, in an annoying way) rush to apologize so early so no one would feel bad or blame me. I'd run to "save" my younger siblings and be accountable or responsible for them. (Not that I could or can save anyone else!!!) But, I think I justified my "tattling" with reports. I always I had to "report back to" the teacher, parent, or authority. "Oh, he did this, but it was because I did so and so first... It's ok really because we're sorry and we can fix it."
There is something so wrong with my theology here, it makes me smile. I say I'm Presbyterian, and a Believer, a conservative Christian (bearing the name of Christ), daughter of a pastor, granddaughter of missionaries on both sides, yet, I should've known better. I should know that if I truly believe I'm a daughter of the King, righteous (meaning: right relatedness with the Father), upheld by grace, worthy of eternal life's blessings, then I would carry myself better - with Christ esteem, Christ confidence, and with graciousness.
Oh yeah - I forgot. I'm human.. My selfish nature still wants to throw stones, drag the wet cat in and say, "Look what she did! Aren't you going to stop her?!" and I still try and trick, test, or trap people, even those I love I'm sorry to say. How dare I mess with condemnation and judgment when I'm not even a witness sometimes, or not even in the jury's seat, so how could I try and be a judge? I now see it in children I work with or babysit, "oooooh, teacher!!! LOOK what he did!!!" Or, the younger ones annoy the older ones and try to irritate them so they get blamed, and boy do they hate it when they feel responsible for the little kids. It's all a competition for attention.
I am an attention lover, attention getter, and I do not like that about myself. Yes I love to be recognized, applauded, esteemed, see my name in lights, and be the center of attention or in the limelight. When I get the wrong kind of attention though (say a wolfwhistlecatcall or uncomfortable stares) it still bothers me; my beauty should reflect my King's light and presence, not cause my brother to stumble or anything of the sort. I should have that stage presence (as we call it in theatre) that demands attention, and respect, but it gives credit back to my Savior, so I go crawl into a corner, take off my makeup and buy different outfits so as not to draw attention to certain things. Then I get nervous all over again that "Uh oh, someone will notice, someone will be offended..." Why does it matter? I'm used to being the popular preacher's kid who everyone looked up to, looked at, and expected a lot from. But on the other hand, God has granted me some holy desires as well.. See my flesh is struggling within right now! I know He wants me to be as Christ to people, treat them as if they were Christ and treat them as if I was Christ. Our Redeemer was "totally free indeed" (as He says later in the chapter). He had no qualms, no worries or concerns. He was the Messiah!! They didn't see it, because of the blindness, and how the Law was so important to them, but He didn't get anxious - He knew when and what was coming. It states at the end of the chapter that He concealed Himself so they couldn't stone Him. They still wanted to make Him look bad so they could puff themselves up (like birds do) and feel better they did the right thing (in their own eyes). I wish I was more humble, but I know it's all part of the Journey of Sanctification.
God knew beforehand that I would have these qualms, that on one hand I want to respect and honor my King and my husband, too. That I want to help people out of the kindness of my heart that He's given me, that I want to serve Him wholly, upright, and Joyfully. But my qualms, the worries and stones, get in the way. Pride is usually the factor, the root of my struggle. My reputation, my esteem, my feelings. What if...? I ask. I ask that all the time, in negative and positive ways. "What if they say this? What if they think this? What if someone gets hurt?" So I keep myself from going all the way, from being all there (as my grandfather J.E. put it). From diving in to the deepest waters and sharing His love, His gifts.
I feel absolutely free today. I stand amazed in His presence, that He has made me clean, washed me pure, and begun a new work in me. I know I am perfect in Christ, made righteous by His blood. Why be concerned over a stone? An opinion? A negative word or glance? A group that sets traps or has trickery? He accepts me as I am, the attention lover, the worried anxious soul, the fun loving gal, the helpful sweet person I think I am.
When something negative happens, we think, "Aw, they're such a ___ (good, sweet, etc.) person. Why would that happen, why do they deserve that? What did they do to deserve ___?" And when something good happens, we say, "Yay, what did we do to deserve this reward?! I can't ___ (eat, have, take etc.) this until I measure up and make things equal!" Or, "She needs to share ___ with so&so so we can all partake!"
That isn't the way our God works. Christ told them, "Who among you will cast the first stone?!!" No one was worthy, no one was willing, no one was able. I wonder how she felt. First she comes kicking and screaming, then she leaves with a clean slate, forgiven and whole. Actually loved even though she had been caught in adultery! Who would've guessed?! And they were trying to not only make her look bad, they were trying to catch our Savior in a law-trap. They were taking the verse/law out of context, first of all! Deut. 22:22.
What did He do? I love this. He ignored their question! My mama raised us to learn to be quiet if we were right. My siblings and I would triumphantly announce "Well I'm going to remain quiet from now on because I'm right!!" and gloat, boasting about our own self-righteous opinion. In my business, we try to stay away from arguments, because one can't argue with the truth! Who can argue with my friend who is out of a wheelchair because of this product?! Wow. Anyway, one by one the Pharisees slunk away. The sand, or the picture He illustrated, and His example He set, made them feel so foolish. Jesus was our fool for them, and then they begun to realize, "Oh I get it now. We can't trap Him." But they still continued to try! That's just it isn't it! Growing up we'd still try to argue, still stay in the same spot, fighting for our rights, our equality, our bratty selfish desire or opinion (because we thought we got it, we knew we were smarter or better than them, we knew we had studied more on the subject)... Then I'd cry. I'd end up crying because they didn't see my point of view. They couldn't see where I was coming from, they didn't try to stand in my shoes, or understand. I didn't feel heard or accepted. This is why I feel the child screaming, "Why don't you listen to me?! I'm more important! My belief is better!" And I have problems with agreeing to disagree. I want to see where they're coming from, I want to try and understand you, and I want to give you a chance, but I still want to know that someone understands me.
Why worry? He already knows, understands, and believe it or not, LOVES me. My Bible's footnote said at the end: "When we have more in common with the Pharisees than we do with Jesus, we become prone to begin focusing on another's faults while ignoring our own. But as we allow Jesus to work in and through our lives, we become gripped by His love so tenderly offered to us and to others. And it becomes our ardent desire to introduce people to the Savior who has forgiven all of our sins."-Zondervan's "The Knowing Jesus Study Bible."
hey sry this was so long "like father like daughter" huh?:)
I've been going through the Gospel according to John, and I came upon this story today. I've always loved this story because it teaches us so much without all the content, yet we still take it out of context. If we really believed we are sinful and Jesus has saved us, would we act the way we do and still judge? Later in that chapter He continues on about judging each other...
My dad would call us all "recovering Pharisees" (and there are books on the subject). Looking back, I remember being a child who was so fearful of getting in trouble, causing trouble, making a ruckus, that I just had to make peace, and was so afraid of upsetting anyone... So what did I do? I'd always cover my tracks, I'd (and I still do, in an annoying way) rush to apologize so early so no one would feel bad or blame me. I'd run to "save" my younger siblings and be accountable or responsible for them. (Not that I could or can save anyone else!!!) But, I think I justified my "tattling" with reports. I always I had to "report back to" the teacher, parent, or authority. "Oh, he did this, but it was because I did so and so first... It's ok really because we're sorry and we can fix it."
There is something so wrong with my theology here, it makes me smile. I say I'm Presbyterian, and a Believer, a conservative Christian (bearing the name of Christ), daughter of a pastor, granddaughter of missionaries on both sides, yet, I should've known better. I should know that if I truly believe I'm a daughter of the King, righteous (meaning: right relatedness with the Father), upheld by grace, worthy of eternal life's blessings, then I would carry myself better - with Christ esteem, Christ confidence, and with graciousness.
Oh yeah - I forgot. I'm human.. My selfish nature still wants to throw stones, drag the wet cat in and say, "Look what she did! Aren't you going to stop her?!" and I still try and trick, test, or trap people, even those I love I'm sorry to say. How dare I mess with condemnation and judgment when I'm not even a witness sometimes, or not even in the jury's seat, so how could I try and be a judge? I now see it in children I work with or babysit, "oooooh, teacher!!! LOOK what he did!!!" Or, the younger ones annoy the older ones and try to irritate them so they get blamed, and boy do they hate it when they feel responsible for the little kids. It's all a competition for attention.
I am an attention lover, attention getter, and I do not like that about myself. Yes I love to be recognized, applauded, esteemed, see my name in lights, and be the center of attention or in the limelight. When I get the wrong kind of attention though (say a wolfwhistlecatcall or uncomfortable stares) it still bothers me; my beauty should reflect my King's light and presence, not cause my brother to stumble or anything of the sort. I should have that stage presence (as we call it in theatre) that demands attention, and respect, but it gives credit back to my Savior, so I go crawl into a corner, take off my makeup and buy different outfits so as not to draw attention to certain things. Then I get nervous all over again that "Uh oh, someone will notice, someone will be offended..." Why does it matter? I'm used to being the popular preacher's kid who everyone looked up to, looked at, and expected a lot from. But on the other hand, God has granted me some holy desires as well.. See my flesh is struggling within right now! I know He wants me to be as Christ to people, treat them as if they were Christ and treat them as if I was Christ. Our Redeemer was "totally free indeed" (as He says later in the chapter). He had no qualms, no worries or concerns. He was the Messiah!! They didn't see it, because of the blindness, and how the Law was so important to them, but He didn't get anxious - He knew when and what was coming. It states at the end of the chapter that He concealed Himself so they couldn't stone Him. They still wanted to make Him look bad so they could puff themselves up (like birds do) and feel better they did the right thing (in their own eyes). I wish I was more humble, but I know it's all part of the Journey of Sanctification.
God knew beforehand that I would have these qualms, that on one hand I want to respect and honor my King and my husband, too. That I want to help people out of the kindness of my heart that He's given me, that I want to serve Him wholly, upright, and Joyfully. But my qualms, the worries and stones, get in the way. Pride is usually the factor, the root of my struggle. My reputation, my esteem, my feelings. What if...? I ask. I ask that all the time, in negative and positive ways. "What if they say this? What if they think this? What if someone gets hurt?" So I keep myself from going all the way, from being all there (as my grandfather J.E. put it). From diving in to the deepest waters and sharing His love, His gifts.
I feel absolutely free today. I stand amazed in His presence, that He has made me clean, washed me pure, and begun a new work in me. I know I am perfect in Christ, made righteous by His blood. Why be concerned over a stone? An opinion? A negative word or glance? A group that sets traps or has trickery? He accepts me as I am, the attention lover, the worried anxious soul, the fun loving gal, the helpful sweet person I think I am.
When something negative happens, we think, "Aw, they're such a ___ (good, sweet, etc.) person. Why would that happen, why do they deserve that? What did they do to deserve ___?" And when something good happens, we say, "Yay, what did we do to deserve this reward?! I can't ___ (eat, have, take etc.) this until I measure up and make things equal!" Or, "She needs to share ___ with so&so so we can all partake!"
That isn't the way our God works. Christ told them, "Who among you will cast the first stone?!!" No one was worthy, no one was willing, no one was able. I wonder how she felt. First she comes kicking and screaming, then she leaves with a clean slate, forgiven and whole. Actually loved even though she had been caught in adultery! Who would've guessed?! And they were trying to not only make her look bad, they were trying to catch our Savior in a law-trap. They were taking the verse/law out of context, first of all! Deut. 22:22.
What did He do? I love this. He ignored their question! My mama raised us to learn to be quiet if we were right. My siblings and I would triumphantly announce "Well I'm going to remain quiet from now on because I'm right!!" and gloat, boasting about our own self-righteous opinion. In my business, we try to stay away from arguments, because one can't argue with the truth! Who can argue with my friend who is out of a wheelchair because of this product?! Wow. Anyway, one by one the Pharisees slunk away. The sand, or the picture He illustrated, and His example He set, made them feel so foolish. Jesus was our fool for them, and then they begun to realize, "Oh I get it now. We can't trap Him." But they still continued to try! That's just it isn't it! Growing up we'd still try to argue, still stay in the same spot, fighting for our rights, our equality, our bratty selfish desire or opinion (because we thought we got it, we knew we were smarter or better than them, we knew we had studied more on the subject)... Then I'd cry. I'd end up crying because they didn't see my point of view. They couldn't see where I was coming from, they didn't try to stand in my shoes, or understand. I didn't feel heard or accepted. This is why I feel the child screaming, "Why don't you listen to me?! I'm more important! My belief is better!" And I have problems with agreeing to disagree. I want to see where they're coming from, I want to try and understand you, and I want to give you a chance, but I still want to know that someone understands me.
Why worry? He already knows, understands, and believe it or not, LOVES me. My Bible's footnote said at the end: "When we have more in common with the Pharisees than we do with Jesus, we become prone to begin focusing on another's faults while ignoring our own. But as we allow Jesus to work in and through our lives, we become gripped by His love so tenderly offered to us and to others. And it becomes our ardent desire to introduce people to the Savior who has forgiven all of our sins."-Zondervan's "The Knowing Jesus Study Bible."
hey sry this was so long "like father like daughter" huh?:)
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
ew
Someone stinks.
I'm sitting here stuck in my friend's office and someone walked by and we think they let it rip.
I'm busy with too much stuff right now, but I'm also bored and waiting for responses in a lot of areas of my life. I'm praying for patience.
Hey. I have a secret. I attended mass for the very first time in my life this morning. Just to try it out. I was just curious, and I wanted a prayer service of some kind to wake me up from my dead sleep LOL. I know I'm still very Presbyterian so no I didn't partake in Holy Communion/the Eucharist sacrament, but I just was curious what my local parish and the father there was like. It was really neat, small little group of ppl, we prayed the used the "Massilette" (sp). It was interesting. I learned some things. I may go back next wk, since I won't have time to try it again the rest of this wk.
My friends both named Annie ROCK! I just wanted to say that. We hadn't gotten a chance to talk in a while, and so we were like, "Yo, is this awkward? Where you been all my life?" and now we're having fun chillin. Last night I talked to my other gal A., and she is the most uplifting person, every time, she listens to me gripe or vent or whatever and I sent her an e-card b/c she is one of my most favoritest people.
I lost a friend recently, as in "exfriend who turned into a witch" not as in, death and grief and those kind of painful things. So it helps to surround myself with supportive true encouraging lasting friends. And it is really cool that God brought into my life all these new friends or old friends who I thought I'd lost touch with now they're suddenly back in my life when I needed them most. Soon one of my married friends will graduate with her masters so then we can finally hang and have girl time like we used to.
it's all good. The other night I watched "freedom Writers" oh so good I almost cried. I remember thinking we would get stoned if we drove near L.A. (during the riots).
Memorial Day we went and saw Pirates 3, and boy was it great. Lotsa fun. And you must stay through to the end of the credits to see the real ending.
Ok I shall leave you now and go back to my busyness.
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris
I'm sitting here stuck in my friend's office and someone walked by and we think they let it rip.
I'm busy with too much stuff right now, but I'm also bored and waiting for responses in a lot of areas of my life. I'm praying for patience.
Hey. I have a secret. I attended mass for the very first time in my life this morning. Just to try it out. I was just curious, and I wanted a prayer service of some kind to wake me up from my dead sleep LOL. I know I'm still very Presbyterian so no I didn't partake in Holy Communion/the Eucharist sacrament, but I just was curious what my local parish and the father there was like. It was really neat, small little group of ppl, we prayed the used the "Massilette" (sp). It was interesting. I learned some things. I may go back next wk, since I won't have time to try it again the rest of this wk.
My friends both named Annie ROCK! I just wanted to say that. We hadn't gotten a chance to talk in a while, and so we were like, "Yo, is this awkward? Where you been all my life?" and now we're having fun chillin. Last night I talked to my other gal A., and she is the most uplifting person, every time, she listens to me gripe or vent or whatever and I sent her an e-card b/c she is one of my most favoritest people.
I lost a friend recently, as in "exfriend who turned into a witch" not as in, death and grief and those kind of painful things. So it helps to surround myself with supportive true encouraging lasting friends. And it is really cool that God brought into my life all these new friends or old friends who I thought I'd lost touch with now they're suddenly back in my life when I needed them most. Soon one of my married friends will graduate with her masters so then we can finally hang and have girl time like we used to.
it's all good. The other night I watched "freedom Writers" oh so good I almost cried. I remember thinking we would get stoned if we drove near L.A. (during the riots).
Memorial Day we went and saw Pirates 3, and boy was it great. Lotsa fun. And you must stay through to the end of the credits to see the real ending.
Ok I shall leave you now and go back to my busyness.
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris
Thursday, May 24, 2007
environment?
I used to think I was so open-minded. Mind you, I actually boasted in my open-mindedness. I thought I was tolerant, loving, kind, generous, and big hearted. I really believed I was very accepting of many types of different people and things, and loved to learn about a majority of unusual cultures or belief systems and worldviews.
Well, "God isn't finished with me yet." I have so much to learn! Lately I am finally waking up to how we should be good stewards and take care of our green earth, God's gift to mankind. I enjoyed scenery and felt closer to God out in naturistic creation, but I thought "Oh, come on, God made us to rule over the earth and so who cares what happens?" but in California we all recycled and saved water. Fast forward to South Carolina, where we lived near a crowded cramped stinky landfill. Finally at 25 yo, I am just now picking up on the fact that my narrowminded views need patience and a lot of room to grow, and I definitely enjoy change and I work so hard at bettering myself, so what's my problem?
My new church is trying to get more environmentally friendly. Not because of the trend but because we should all do so anyway! The church (Christians) should all set a godly example of how to do that. I want to thank my friend RM for teaching me just in our open discussion; but also I am looking forward to this new venture in my life.
To start I'd like to list some of my favorite places (God's country):)
US:
Oregon
Maine
North Carolina(Blue Ridge Mountains)
Montana
Wyoming
Charleston, South Carolina
Georgia
New Hampshire
Massachusets
Arizona
Chesterfield, MO (home of Reliv, Int'l.:))
Hawaii
CA:
Pacific Coast highway
Monterey
Yosemite
Santa Barbara
Balboa Island
San Diego (the beaches, the Zoo, etc.)
Other places:
Eastern Canada
English countryside (UK)
Baja (Lower California), Mexico
Belize (San Pedro), Central America
Uganda, East Africa
and then of course, someday I want to go to Scotland and it will definitely be at the top of my list:)
Everybody's gotta start somewhere!
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris
Well, "God isn't finished with me yet." I have so much to learn! Lately I am finally waking up to how we should be good stewards and take care of our green earth, God's gift to mankind. I enjoyed scenery and felt closer to God out in naturistic creation, but I thought "Oh, come on, God made us to rule over the earth and so who cares what happens?" but in California we all recycled and saved water. Fast forward to South Carolina, where we lived near a crowded cramped stinky landfill. Finally at 25 yo, I am just now picking up on the fact that my narrowminded views need patience and a lot of room to grow, and I definitely enjoy change and I work so hard at bettering myself, so what's my problem?
My new church is trying to get more environmentally friendly. Not because of the trend but because we should all do so anyway! The church (Christians) should all set a godly example of how to do that. I want to thank my friend RM for teaching me just in our open discussion; but also I am looking forward to this new venture in my life.
To start I'd like to list some of my favorite places (God's country):)
US:
Oregon
Maine
North Carolina(Blue Ridge Mountains)
Montana
Wyoming
Charleston, South Carolina
Georgia
New Hampshire
Massachusets
Arizona
Chesterfield, MO (home of Reliv, Int'l.:))
Hawaii
CA:
Pacific Coast highway
Monterey
Yosemite
Santa Barbara
Balboa Island
San Diego (the beaches, the Zoo, etc.)
Other places:
Eastern Canada
English countryside (UK)
Baja (Lower California), Mexico
Belize (San Pedro), Central America
Uganda, East Africa
and then of course, someday I want to go to Scotland and it will definitely be at the top of my list:)
Everybody's gotta start somewhere!
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris
Friday, May 18, 2007
I really wasn't going to do this...
...but I'm sucked into it now...!
Once upon a time, xanga.com was all I knew. My husband got me into blogging on xanga because he thought I loved journaling, which I do. I am not an author nor a writer but I do enjoy creative free hand writing and I used to think I wanted to be a journalist, but decided in high school reporting wasn't for me.
Then I heard from people that I should have a myspace. It was fun helping and seeing my friends create a myspace, so I joined.
Just recently I've gotten into facebook; my sister invited me so now i'm hooked - just so I can watch for new pics of my adoreable niece. (Proud aunt right here).
I really wasn't planning on having a blog at every blogspace, but I have a sister who does have one everywhere. I guess it keeps me in touch with different people and circles of influences, and I enjoy that. I love meeting new people too; I used to be on several different webrings and groups back in the day.
Why start a blogger blog? I like my gmail/googletalk/google period. I also am happy where my life is right now, and where else should I be when I'm happy? Exactly.
Writing, that's what.
Although, they say the best writers get their best work when depressed or distraught right? :)
I'll probably just re-post (copy-paste) from my other blogs; I just wanted to start it out right!
Once upon a time, xanga.com was all I knew. My husband got me into blogging on xanga because he thought I loved journaling, which I do. I am not an author nor a writer but I do enjoy creative free hand writing and I used to think I wanted to be a journalist, but decided in high school reporting wasn't for me.
Then I heard from people that I should have a myspace. It was fun helping and seeing my friends create a myspace, so I joined.
Just recently I've gotten into facebook; my sister invited me so now i'm hooked - just so I can watch for new pics of my adoreable niece. (Proud aunt right here).
I really wasn't planning on having a blog at every blogspace, but I have a sister who does have one everywhere. I guess it keeps me in touch with different people and circles of influences, and I enjoy that. I love meeting new people too; I used to be on several different webrings and groups back in the day.
Why start a blogger blog? I like my gmail/googletalk/google period. I also am happy where my life is right now, and where else should I be when I'm happy? Exactly.
Writing, that's what.
Although, they say the best writers get their best work when depressed or distraught right? :)
I'll probably just re-post (copy-paste) from my other blogs; I just wanted to start it out right!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)