I don't believe in church

What's that you say? After my dad's good sermon this morning, this is what I scribbled on my bulletin:

The Church is His Body, a place and house of worship. The church is becoming a place where people think they are gods who are there to help people, count the numbers, or run it their way. Church should be a place where we raise both our empty hands; we are not God and we are the ones who need God's help. We realize our need of grace, our need for mercy, and our burning desire to love and be loved in return. Our need to be heard, our craving for attention, are all natural human responses that I personally believe only God can fill, but we will never be completely satisfied "till we find ourselves in Him..." (my memory's paraphrase of St. Augustine's quote)

Remember what He prayed for in the Garden? Unity. He wanted us to be unified, made one (hence, the picture of marriage and the symbol of sex!), and peacemakers who aren't perfect.

K I just thought I'd throw these thoughts out there.
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris

A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation
with the bricks that others throw at him or her.
David Brinkley said this. I am still trying out this aide position, and it can be so hard. He started throwing rocks at me, little pebble stones or nuts, etc. and I can't do anything - force, touch, pull, help him at all. He needs love, lots and lots of patience, but I try THEIR method and don't know if it does any good. Then I have personal drama of feeling judged by others. I don't know why, but Congo really changes people. You see, it either makes you more tense & stressed (plenty of reason here!) or it makes you more relaxed and able to go with the flow.
I was in a friend's house recently and she showed us her African statue that my friend said had a perfect portrayal of the JOY that is Congo...
and the depression that Congo has as well. My mom bought a little table figurine that shares something similar. In order to relax here, I exercise, swim/lay by the pool, read, pray&journal, play piano/flute/CDs, talk out my stress, and, well, color. Yeah I know, silly huh? But it really helps with the whole "therapy thing!"
So I ask, why do we judge? I usually excused it with, "Well that's all we know is their sin, their problem, their weakness" when we see it in them, we think it makes us look better when in reality it makes us look worse.
But, when I judge, I usually judge those who judge, then I'm going one step further in not helping, am I?! I get lectures here & there, or I am too sensitive when someone acts like they were just joking, or I am too worried about what they are thinking of me.

When in reality not many people are thinking about you as often as you think they are!
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris

One Way to End a Stressful Wk:

.....Join a Hash!

Yeah, I did. First of all, on Friday I typed out a randomly mad blog, then it got lost (net stopped working apparently), about my crazy week. I have now officially signed on a trial run of being an aide for a 3rd grader with "Behavioral Issues." (Basically it just takes a TON of patience!) I partially got a little of the stress out Th. by scarily joining the Intermediate Boot Camp here on campus. We are supposed to run 6mi. by the end of 8 wks. Yeah I know right?! Insane. Then I ended the week with prayer meeting, a deliciously stuffing-your-plate-full Indian meal, then set up in the morning and went shopping in Kin, with my teacher-friends then came back for our RUN. . .
The Kinshasa Fortnightly Hash House Harriers has officially begun! We ran approx. 3 mi. around the Kinshasa streets (while the Congolese people greatly enjoyed laughing at the mundeles (sp? white person in Lingala) complete with TOGAS made of African fabric! Then we stopped off at the Ambassador's home for a Drink Stop, and then partied till we dropped (literally) with a band (J'Affroz) and the best chicken in Kin, Mama Colonel's (apparently there are pictures of the place floating around FCBK, they even bring a basin for you to wash your hands!)...Boy was it a rockin' party! I danced & sang with the band. It was really truly fun.

I know some people will think it's just crazy; some people reading this will judge & hate and all the rest, while others don't care (or don't even read this anymore) or some will feel guilty for me, or be shocked by my behavior, but I want people to know (just in case you were concerned), I DO care about my witness; I don't want to judge, judge those who judge, nor do I want to be judged, so therefore I go be myself, enjoy a party or a drink or two (or 4), and laugh and cry over the beauty of freedom. I want to enjoy life at its fullest, be all there, and live life on the edge, to the hilt! What's the matter with that?! Part of living the spirited dance is that we begin to try to realize (but we still can't fully) the paradox of living a balanced life. ME, balanced?! ha, no, I don't think so. But I know that is the key to survival! One can't be extreme extremist black & white all the time, because real life is full of grey matter and gray areas, is it not?! I just want to share my love for life (while all the while looking fwd to heaven someday), and not have to worry over guilt or anything. Moderation is key. Let's live,laugh,love in the middle of the road!
"Be ashamed to die until you have scored a victory for mankind." Dr. TP Kalogris